In every friendship, inevitably there will be a dorm room mom. After all, college is the time when our inner child comes out. Drunk nights make us move like waddling toddlers, and laziness, combined with the lack of real parents, make us resort to microwaving mac-and-cheese bowls at 2am.
So since we are Benjamin-Button-ing back to our days of gogurts, packed snacks, and naps, we become in need of a temporary parent. Thankfully, one friend in the group always seems to step up to the challenge. She’s usually mature for her age and always seems to have her life in order. Sound like you? Then you might be a dorm mom. Let’s find out.
1. Are you constantly cleaning the room, even the things/rooms that aren’t yours?
2. Are you always reminding your roommates to do their laundry?
3. Do you suggest that your roommates ignore the rows of caf cookies and snatch a banana instead?
4. Are you always shouting out your roomies on your Facebook, usually with an accompanying caption that looks something like “So proud of her”?
5. Have you considered labeling yourself an “honorary therapist” because of the amounts of advice you’re always giving?
6. Do you help your roommates focus on their homework when they keep getting distracted by Netflix and fuckboys?
7. Have you lost count of the times that you had to basically carry your droomies (drunk roomies) home and make sure they didn’t confess their love to that cute boy in their stats class?
8. Do you transform into a protective, snarling, 100-pound Rottweiler when you meet their new love interest?
9. Are you always telling them to be safe, grab a jacket, or remember to take their birth control?
10. Do you want the best for them and love them with all your heart?
If you answered yes to 4 or more of these questions, then congrats! You’re a dorm room mom!