Remember your first period? The first time always feels like a rite of passage, doesn’t it? It arrives like a scarlet initiation into adulthood. According to the most bare bones biology, you are a woman now and no one can tell you any different.
Yet that pubescent awkwardness still seems to haunt us…
Eventually, your menarche become less of a symbol of burgeoning womanhood and more of a pain. But at least we can suffer as a unit, right? I know what you’re thinking…
Solidarity is not necessarily solace, especially when your uterus is throwing a bitch fit.
Your ovaries feel like they’re imploding.
Your body balloons to whale-like proportions.
And suddenly, your idea of what you’re going to look like that week goes from this:
To this:
In all fairness, you were probably going to put on sweatpants anyway, but Nature has spoken and you no longer even have a choice in the matter. Skirts and sundresses? Forget about it. Not when you’re wearing granny panties.
Is it just me or does our tolerance for stupidity also dramatically decrease?
Men can be particularly gross offenders, asking inane questions such as “Are you on your period?” and “Are you OK?”
In those days where you find yourself in biological purgatory, just know: Chocolate is always there for you.
Another pick-me-up about periods is at least you know that’s another month where your womb is baby-free! We’ve all had that moment where Mother Nature arrives fashionably late. Not fun.
So, if you’re stuck on your period, just remember to be thankful.
Even when she arrives in crimson waves of Exodus proportions.
Hang in there, ladies.