You know how, in a lot of the old fairytales, so much of the build-up leads to “true love’s first kiss”? When I was a kid, I always thought it was really sweet when the princess finally got to kiss her prince for the first time, but, the older I get, the more the idea creeps me out.
The rule always seems to be that it’s not only the heroine’s first kiss with her beau, but it’s also her first kiss ever. And this very amazing, very first kiss always has some incredible power to it.
What bothers me is how much the “true love’s first kiss” trope acts as a bizarre virginity metaphor. You could probably already see where this was going. The magic is only activated by the fact that the girl’s never done this before, making the kiss this weird, ecstatic moment in which the power of her inexperience brings her back to life or transforms the man or wakes the entire kingdom. Some kind of magic always occurs.
And I’m not trying to categorically dunk on fairytales here; I just think the first kiss thing deserves a little scrutiny sometimes.
As a society, we have this huge obsession with women’s purity, to the point that we even eroticize it. Oftentimes, we’re told that the sexiest thing about a young woman is that she’s never had sex. And, if she ever chooses to have sex, she instantly becomes less desirable. I think “damaged goods” is the old, incredibly backwards phrase applied to women who aren’t virgins.
And all of that’s been rooted in our Western ethos, well before the Grimm Brothers ever canonized Cinderella.
In fairytales, the main idea is that the heroine has landed true love on her very first try and will never need to kiss another man again. She’s saved herself for this moment, and because of her chaste sacrifice, her kisses pack an extra magical punch that saves the day in one stunning moment.
I don’t think we need to refrain from watching an old Disney Princess movie again, but sometimes, it’s just nice to get a vibe check on the things we consume.