Trying to Pick a Style (Yes, Just One)

I love clothes with all of my being.

Being able to paint myself as whoever I’d like to be with just a quick switch of my outfit, the thrill of wearing a nice dress for a special occasion, feeling a soft fabric, having my eye caught by a bold pop of color or admiring the classic outfits in an old movie. Truly, nothing could be finer.

The majority of my time is spent in less-than-exciting get-ups, and I definitely have my off days, but don’t be fooled: fashion is important to me. There’s obviously more to a person than just his or her looks, but his or her looks are what a person sees first, and I say you might as well go all out with your appearance, if you have the chance. Besides, being your own personal stylist is fun! But what I tend to struggle with is thinning down my options and picking a single, uniform direction for my wardrobe. This is because, for the life of me, I cannot decide what my style is.

If someone made one of those outfit moodboards depicting my aesthetic, what on earth would they put on mine? My closet has ranged from uber-casual to preppy, from subtly punk to cutesy and childish, from retro to modern and then back again. I know exactly why I struggle with picking a distinct style, and it’s because I just like too many things. I simply can’t stop admiring fashion icons from all corners of the Earth, both fictional and nonfictional. Some days I vibe with Barbie, some days with Morticia Addams, and other days, I vibe with someone on a completely different spectrum. I like to plan my outfits the day before, and let me tell you, it is never an easy task. Remember that scene from Clueless in which Cher is stressing out on her floor in a pile of clothes? That is me, literally every day.

In the grand scheme of things, this is not at all a problem. I’m not saying that I never overreact, but I’m not that much of a drama queen. I’d just like to figure out this part of myself for the sake of both convenience and my wallet. Being able to choose my daily ensemble from a reasonably compact closet is a dream of mine, and heaven only knows that some self-restraint in the shoe aisle would do me good. I even went to the lengths of trying to curate a capsule wardrobe to make my life easier. It didn’t take long for that minimalist venture to get old, and here I am, back in a mess of individual pieces that I adore with all my heart but can’t actually match together for a reasonably sane-looking outfit.

One of the best moves I’ve made, thus far, is trying to ditch anything I can’t navigate campus while wearing. I’m no stranger to the perilous bricks of Chapel Hill, and they’ve nearly claimed my life, once or twice… I’m telling you, they have it out for me! So that means that I’ve tried to limit my heeled shoes to just a couple pairs for fancier events, and most of my days are now spent in sneakers. But comfort and practicality aside, I want to have a little pizazz too! I manage to love both black pieces with the darkest, spookiest vibes and flashier, blinged-out accessories. At least half of my closet is either black or really dark blue, but then I also own a sequined Minnie Mouse backpack purse fit for the gaudiest of divas. What’s a girl to do?

All in all, I am in a perpetual state of fashion crisis. And maybe that’s my style? It seems like a stretch, but maybe the lack of versatility my favorite pieces have is what composes my collective look. I’m a different woman every day, but honestly, my personality can be kind of like that too. I like to think I’m an optimistic person and have even been called bubbly before (I’m the type that will straight-up interrupt a conversation to point out a dog across the street), but I can be pretty serious too. I love all things cute and all things creepy, and I have nostalgia for previous eras while still appreciating the unique fashion age we live in now. Maybe embracing my indecisive nature would do me good. My closet may be cluttered, and, every day, I may spend an extra moment working on my newest masterpiece, but who’s to say I can’t be a walking fashion collage? I’ve got a little bit of everything in me.

Anyways, I’m off to redo my entire “Fashion” Pinterest board. Again. Wish me luck, and please let me know if my shoes don’t match.