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Real Live College Guy: But He’s Got a Girlfriend

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Eduardo Estevez Student Contributor, University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
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Brittany Bass Student Contributor, University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Chapel Hill chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.


A boy that I like is currently in a long term relationship and we have some history. The past few months we have been talking a lot and he is very flirtatious with me. What are his intentions?

A lot of the answer’s I have given it has been hard to group all guys into a typical response. There are always lots of exceptions and I do the best I can to encompass a large part of the male population. But this one is pretty standard across the board. It has all the tell tale signs: 1. long term 2. history 3. flirtatious. It’s what I like to call the “ego boost.”

I almost feel guilty for letting this one out of the bag because a guy needs this from time to time. Long time relationships take a toll on a male psyche. He hears his buds talking about how many girls they hit on over the weekend or sees a different girl in his roommate’s room every other week and he feels self-conscious. This isn’t a knock on his girlfriend though, because she’s obviously doing something right if she’s been around that long. Instead, it’s just the need to flex the flirt muscles. It’s always good to see a girl that isn’t your girlfriend is still attracted to you (she kinda has to be at this point). So any chance he has to flirt successfully is a small moral victory to him.

This also isn’t a knock on you. He clearly still thinks you’re attractive and he probably likes talking/flirting with you. Go you. But it’s not a tell tale sign he wants to cheat on his girlfriend or dump his girlfriend for you so don’t throw him under the bus just yet. If things are going poorly with his girlfriend, he may want to hang out with you when they break up because of his history with you. Also, knowing there’s a girl interested in you when you join the single life makes breaking up with a girl much easier so he could be using this flirting as a springboard to the single life.I wouldn’t look too far into it unless things go sour with the girlfriend.

*Disclaimer* There are a few exceptions. His intentions are more than I mentioned if he has lower moral standards and is willing to cheat on a girl and/or he has an insatiable lust for you. Those are usually the outliers in this situation.

Brittany is a senior Visual Communications major in the UNC-CH School of Journalism and an Entrepreneurship minor, originally from Frederick, MD. This summer she interned in the fashion department of O, The Oprah Magazine in NYC. She has interned at the Durham Herald-Sun Newspaper and as a multi-media producer for the UNC Foreign Language Department and School of Education. Brittany enjoys snowboarding, rock climbing, water sports and all things to do with the beach. In the future she hopes to work in the magazine industry, travel and continue practicing yoga.