Let’s be real, picking the right college is a daunting decision that not everyone gets right the first time. That is okay. It is not often discussed that at 18 we are expected to devote the next four pivotal years of our lives to a college, or university, when we barely know who we are or what we want. Not to mention the excessive costs required to attend many of these colleges. So, if you are rethinking your decision about the college you are attending, you are not alone. In fact, while I am happily now attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, there was some trial and error involved in finding the right college for me.
In high school, I was clueless about what I wanted to do career-wise and where I should get my degree. I applied to random colleges that I did not feel passionately about because I always knew I wanted to go to college — I just didn’t know where. I watched as my friends got into their lifelong dream schools, and while I was happy for them, I could not help but feel lost. I got some acceptance letters and toured four different colleges in North Carolina, the state where I grew up. People kept telling me when I found the right college for me I would know, but as I wandered around these college campuses, all I felt was dread. However, my mother expected me to commit to one of the colleges and to not let her down, I chose one at random, knowing I did not truly want to go there. As the summer went by my dread and guilt grew, peaking at my college color-themed going away party. I lasted three miserable days at orientation before I finally broke down and told my mother. I decided to go to my local community college to save money until I determined where I wanted to transfer to. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with attending community college, my ego and tendency to compare my journey to that of others made my inferiority complex skyrocket. So here comes my first piece of advice, as my therapist often tells me, “comparison is the thief of joy.” As much as we have to pretend like we are not, we are all young and clueless. It may seem like other college students around us have a linear path laid out in front of them and are sure of their academic goals and career plans, but in reality, we are all just trying to figure ourselves out. There is nothing wrong with spending time exploring possibilities despite the pressure that is put on us from a young age to definitively choose a college. It does not mean that you will be less successful, or impressive, and it does not mean you do not have your shit together.
I attended community college for two years and applied to UNC, North Carolina State University and my newfound dream school, New York University. To be honest, I cannot tell you why I landed on these choices. My reasoning was as arbitrary as they all somewhat have prestige and good English programs. Alas, I did not get accepted into NYU, so I chose UNC. Despite my commitment to UNC being somewhat random, I am grateful every day that I ended up here. I know there is no other college I would be happier at; I am a Tar Heel through and through. I know not everyone feels that way at UNC, and I wholeheartedly empathize because I know what it is like to be miserable at a college. However, my point is, I ended up here by chance and just got lucky enough that it worked out in my favor; we are not all that lucky. If part of you is considering transferring to a different college, I urge you to look into those options and trust your instinct. Many of us, including myself, must factor financial support into our decision, so do your research if you are considering transferring. Do not let pressure from family, friends or random college students on social media keep you from making a decision that you think is right for you. That is the joy of being college-aged — you can start to make choices by yourself and for yourself, and if you can help it, do not let anyone take that opportunity away from you. At the end of the day, you will know what path is right for you more than anyone else knows. I hope my college-jumping success story can provide hope to some lost student out there, or even hope to myself when I graduate. Be brave, and good luck!