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Need a Confidence Boost? Here’s a List of Times I was Violently Humbled.

Unfortunately, midterm season is here. If you’re anything like me and my friends: your lack of sleep is concerning, your stress is reaching all-time highs and your grades are reaching all-time lows. Burnout is real and it hits hard. 

Fear no more. While I can’t take your stressors away, I can help take your mind off them. There’s nothing like good old-fashioned self-deprecating humor.  

So, let’s focus on me and my amusing failures for a while, shall we? I’m sure we could all use a laugh. So sit back, relax and give your beautiful mind a break. 

Here are times I have been violently humbled (in no particular order):

  1. Just because the Jonas brothers are related, does not mean they are triplets. 
    • Amidst hanging out with my friends last year (yes, I only just recently found this out) I made a passing comment about the triplet popstars… Only, they weren’t triplets. If you thought this too I hate to inform you that the Jonas Brothers are, in fact, NOT triplets. But I highly doubt there are many people who think this. 
  2. Two words: Purple. Headgear. 
    • Fourth grade was something. It was my era of Bermuda shorts, crocs, and playing Cooking Mama on my Nintendo DS. Coincidentally, it was also the same year my orthodontist decided to do something about my aggressive underbite. I was a “tasteful” ten-year-old and chose the lavender apparatus… horrifying. 
  3. A numb tongue is better than no tongue at all. 
    • I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. However, when I walked into my wisdom teeth appointment Junior year of high school I did not expect to walk out and never feel my tongue again. After having my tongue extensively caressed by a micro neurosurgeon it was confirmed: I had moderate to severe nerve damage. Be extra grateful for your tongues, people!
  4. I lost the dog while dog sitting.
    • Before you worry too much I promise the dog was found, is safe and was promptly returned home. But yes, my one job of keeping an eye on my neighbor’s dog proved to be more challenging than expected… 
  5. My fellow baby-faced friends, unite!
    • Is your age frequently mistaken? Were you asked if you were getting your driver’s permit when you were getting your 21+ horizontal license? Are you consistently doubted when you tell people you are in college, much less an upperclassman? If you answered yes to any of these questions you feel my pain. Even worse, every time I am brutally mistaken to be a decade younger than I am, people tell me (without fail) “you’ll be grateful for that when you’re older!” Smiling through the pain. 
  6. The entirety of my cross country career. 
    • The only sport with worse pictures than the cross country team at my high school yearbook was swimming. My swimmers, my heart goes out to you and your goggles. Similarly, cross country did me dirty. I don’t always pee my pants, but when I do it is on Saturday mornings, publicly, in front of my teammate’s parents during a race.
  7. And last but not least: Cucumbers. Pickles. Same thing, different font. 
    • I’m just going to leave this one here. Vinegar works wonders. 

Here’s to my first post with Her Campus, and here’s to sharing embarrassing moments on the internet! Remember, take care of yourself and (if you can) laugh at yourself a little more.

Delaney Patterson

Chapel Hill '23

Hi! My name is Delaney (she/her/hers). I am passionate about all things social justice, dark chocolate, 1D, and writing. I am an English major and public policy minor at UNC. In my free time I like to run, read, and go on coffee outings with my friends. My go to order is a chai latte. Thanks for visiting my page!