Advice on self-love is something that I give well and receive poorly. I always say that I’ll take a self-love day and then I end up sleeping without feeling rested, using the day as an excuse to catch up on chores that feel like work — ultimately feeling more exhausted than I was at the beginning of the day. So, this week I promised myself to take an ACTUAL self-love day void of work.
I woke up around 10:00 a.m. based on my body clock. This was a suggestion that was given to me by one of my housemates. She told me that waking up by anything other than your body clock is not a way to start a day off on a good note. I made my bed and found my three housemates in the kitchen and living room. Once I was up, we all found our way to our living room couch, and my roommate greeted me with a cup of coffee. The four of us chatted for a while about boys, school, our upcoming week, etc. It felt so middle school yet so adult-y all at the same time.
At around 10:45 I changed out of my pajamas into a pair of jeans, a new shirt I had thrifted and my vans. The farmer’s market near our house closed at noon but everyone started packing up at 11:30 so I made sure to get there before all of the eucalyptus bundles were gone. I did some light grocery shopping, picking up some apples, eucalyptus, lavender syrup and sweet potatoes for one of my housemates. I took an extra-long stroll on the way back to my house so I could call my mom and talk to her and my sister.
As an introvert, I knew that the majority of this self-love day was going to be spent alone giving my mind and body time to recharge. In preparation for this day, I made a playlist called “self-love!” full of my favorite female-empowering songs. So, when I returned from the farmer’s market, I put on an outfit that felt comfortable yet confident, and I didn’t allow myself to look in the mirror. I have come to realize that if I spend too much time in front of the mirror my mind will find some elaborate and irrational reason that I shouldn’t wear something. It could be because my legs look too big, the shirt is too tight, or my hair would look better down with the color scheme. All of which are factors that only take away from the point of a self-love day. After skirting my mirror, I went into the bathroom to put on some light makeup before heading out to my car.
I left my house at 12:30 and headed to my favorite bagel spot in Chapel Hill. In an effort to kill two birds with one stone, I ate my delicious lunch while taking a long drive through some pretty neighborhoods in Carrboro and Chapel Hill to give myself some time to really soak in the lyrics of my self-love playlist. As someone who thinks about the future way too often, one of my favorite activities is going to the nicest neighborhoods and critiquing the houses while simultaneously making mental notes of what I like for my future home. All in all, I drove around for about an hour before heading back to my house.
After I got home, I put on some workout clothes and went for a jog/walk around my house. I stopped to talk with some of my neighbors and played with their cats. I came back a little sweatier than I had anticipated, so I hopped in the shower before moving onto the other activities I had scheduled for myself.
Around 3:00, I opened all the blinds in my house to let the natural light flow in while I put on a meditation video. At this time, all of my housemates had left to do schoolwork on campus, so I had the house fully to myself. I maximized the volume on our TV and did a guided meditation for 30 minutes and yoga for 15. After I was finished, my roommate came back from the Union and reminded me about a movie she wanted to watch with me: The Trial of the Chicago 7. I had already seen the movie twice and had raved about it to anyone who would listen so, naturally, she wanted to watch it with me (whether it was to get me to stop talking about it or because she wanted to, we’ll never know). She popped us some popcorn and ordered a pizza before joining me on the couch.
The movie ended around 7:00 and we had already splurged on a large pizza plus garlic bread but we decided to drive to Cookout because who could resist the temptation of one of their milkshakes? After sitting in the drive-thru for nearly 20 minutes, we got a text from our other housemates that they had invited some of our friends over for a game night. Finally, after getting our milkshakes and fries, we sped back to our house to make sure we got the best spot at the table for spoons. We played spoons, spades, BS, poker and other games until 2:00 a.m. when everyone said their goodbyes. As we always do, the four of us in the house played some music and did all of our nightly routines together. To end the night, we all gathered in my room to finish the day the way we started it: talking about boys, school and our plans for the next day. A perfect end to a perfect day.
Reflecting on what made this day so good, I realized it was the way I was able to push worry out of my mind. For one whole day, I chose not to think about assignments I had due and I truly lived in the moment. I understand this is much easier said than done and I am lucky to be taking classes that don’t have large assignments due every day as well as to have a group of friends who love and support me so much. My encouragement from this day: self-love, and giving your mind time to rest is SO IMPORTANT. Assignments will never go away and even after submitting one, three more will pop up. So, make a promise to yourself to take a day just to rest and to love yourself. There’s no better time than today.