#HalloWeek: I'm Too Old to Trick-or-Treat and Definitely Not Bitter About It


Here it is, folks, yet another terrifying article about my unsettling aversion to the whole “adulthood” thing... but not exactly. I would like to begin by proclaiming from the mountaintops that Halloween is, always has been and always will be my favorite time of the year. Halloween is objectively the best holiday, and I’m not sure anyone could convince me otherwise, even if my life depended on it.

Now that that’s out of the way, shall we reminisce on why my childhood and so many others like it were truly blessed by the festivities of All Hallows’ Eve? The primary reason that October was sacred to me and all the other munchkins was that, on the last day of the month, social constructs permitted us to wear whatever the heck we wanted, roam around our neighborhoods (at night no less, which is a very exciting proposition for a child!) and essentially solicit candy from a bunch of strangers. It was a dream come true!

 Things were all hunky-dory until middle school, when, on what was probably a dark and stormy night, the most crushing news imaginable was delivered to me:

I was now too old to trick-or-treat.

How dare anyone, especially a jaded adult, deny me of such a hallowed ritual! The fury of a thousand suns coursed through my veins at the mere idea of giving up my yearly trick-or-treating escapades. Despair overtook me. Was I to become the one who passes out candy to those kids who still held such prized trick-or-treating privileges? A duty that, in years previous, was reserved for my lovely mother in her witch costume and no one else? I simply couldn’t bear it.

Am I being dramatic? Why yes, of course. But it definitely does suck when you lose that part of the holiday. I have some pretty awesome memories of going around the neighborhood with my dad and brother on Halloween night, and it really is fun getting to see all of the different costumes and decorations around the neighborhood. My dad even had this super neat setup where he put mummy-shaped lights on our red Radio Flyer wagon and pulled around a cooler, hanging out with other dads while I went from door to door… genius! Plus, when else do you see plastic limbs suspended from your neighbor’s house or an elderly woman down the street wearing cobwebs in her hair? It’s one of a kind fun!

However, there might still be hope for us old folks to enjoy Halloween too. There are, of course, Halloween parties (albeit a little different from the ones we went to as kids), and even if you don’t frequent many of those, there are opportunities to kick back while you give candy to the youngsters. Flip on a spooky movie or two, grab some pizza and, by all means, dress up! Who’s to say you can’t don a costume of your own, even if you have a smaller audience these days? I think it’s fun for kids to see “grown-ups” (AKA large children) dressing up too, and you can really let your creative side shine.

Franklin Street is a great place to display your Halloween handiwork. Throngs of people go out for the evening, some tipsier than others, and the artistic and comedic skills of my peers never fail to impress me. Along with advanced age comes the ability and freedom to wear things that wouldn’t be appropriate for any child, so get as spooky, risqué or darkly comic as you want! ‘Tis the season, after all.

All in all, change isn’t always bad. Sure, it sucks to lose favorites from your childhood, but we can adapt! There’s no reason to give up the things you love simply because time has passed, especially if you’re passionate about them.

I expect to see you getting extra spooky every Oct. 31, so go ahead and make me proud.

You go, ghoul!