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A Girlfriend’s Guide to Fantasy Football

Angry Girl (photo): blindgossip.com

Alas, it’s that time of year we’ve all been waiting for: reuniting with old friends… a new planner filled with social engagements… and talking to the side of your boyfriend’s head for five minutes receiving only perfunctory nods and an occasional grunt in response as his eyes stay transfixed on ESPN. Ah football season. How I have not missed you.

(Side Note: I realize this is a sad stereotype, and you may be a girl much cooler than I who loves the sport, and can actually talk about nickel defense and man-to-man coverage. In which case, I commend you. Although you make me look bad in front of sporty men and I resent that.)

Understanding football on its own is daunting task, but adding on the ever-elusive Fantasy Football phenomenon makes football season even more of a headache for those who have a shameful sports IQ. But you have to start somewhere, and now is the perfect time to beef up your knowledge of the American obsession and maybe even beat him at his own game.

Football Player (photo): f…yeahhotfootballplayer.tumblr.com

Fantasy Wha…?

Fantasy Football is an interactive competition that involves assembling teams out of NFL players and tracking their points throughout the week’s games. Needless to say, the more points the better. Teams usually consist of two quarterbacks, three running backs, three wide receivers, two tight ends, one kicker and two defensive units (meaning an entire team’s defensive line).

The point system is pretty straightforward, with six points if one of your players scores a touchdown, one point for if one of your players gets an extra point and various other point values and deductions of similar numbers that reflect what happens in the real-life game.

Small variations in points and players are settled by the “League Manager” who is the person who organizes all of the people who will be participating. Each person has their own team and each week two people in the league will pit their teams against each other. Whichever team comes out with the most points at the end of the week gets a win.

In the final two or three weeks of football season, the league will have a playoff of the top eight to 16 teams. It proceeds like a regular playoff; losing teams are out until one team is victorious.

A Cure For ESPN Overload?

Playing is free and easy, and those who play report watching more sports and being more engaged in the game. So if you find yourself grasping for anything that could make you less likely to pull your hair out during Sunday and Monday afternoons, maybe you should consider picking out a team yourself.

After all, if you can’t beat him, join him. Then beat him. And enjoy being the hot girl that speaks fluent sports. 

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