There is something thrilling about defying expectations. Usually, people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you might think. Except, when they do, it can be judgmental. There isn’t anything especially wrong with that. We put labels on and apply generalities to people in order to understand them easier. But, sometimes, labeling people is more counterproductive than beneficial to our brains. People have a tendency to surprise you, and few things are as fun as being the one to surprise.
One judgment or assumption people tend to make about me involves my being in a sorority. There are a lot of harsh, narrow stereotypes that come with that one. I remember telling someone in my honors class that I was rushing, and I got a, “You’re rushing?” I’m choosing to think that was a compliment over an insult. People just don’t tend to associate sororities with intellect, social justice or compassion. Really, that is so far from the truth. The girls I’m surrounded by inspire and challenge me everyday.
People see you in one setting, and they have this tendency to assume that setting defines you. For example, seeing someone in the honors dorm makes you think they are smart and hardworking. You are probably right, but he or she could also be ditzy, lazy and party-loving. You can see someone, conversely, at a frat party or on a late-night bus and make assumptions that probably have truth to them. You easily forget that person is studious, patient and ambitious. These thoughts are natural, and I don’t have some trick to stop you from thinking them. We like to fit people into molds we can comprehend.
Being on the receiving end of judgment can get you stuck in insecurity and hinder your personality from shining through. I do have a trick for this one: enjoy it. Embrace the misconceptions people have about you. Don’t set out to solely prove them wrong (that can easily backfire). You see yourself in every aspect of your life – you’re reckless and fun, you’re cautious and ambitious, you’re courageous, you’re insecure. You have this secret with yourself. Only you know you for your whole self – or, at least, you know you the most. Therefore, when someone has the misconception that you’re dumb or ignorant or anti-social, smirk to yourself. Be smug in the privileged knowledge of knowing yourself. Often times, you will end up defying their expectations by simply being, by simply enjoying yourself.
At the end of the day, I am lucky. For the most part, the misconceptions people tend to have about me are mostly harmless. It is that much easier for me to have fun with them, rather than be stifled by them. I challenge you to do the same with the ones you can.