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5 Signs You Should Break-up With Your Boyfriend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Chapel Hill chapter.

Just because you rarely fight in your relationship, doesn’t mean it is worth continuing. For someone who just started dating, it can be hard to recognize the red flags. Here are the top signs that you should probably move on.

1. You always feel like you owe him something.

Picture this: you have a boyfriend who is friendly and sweet. He buys you nice earrings and is always willing to spend time with you, and your friends love him! Yet, you can’t bring yourself to have the feelings that he has for you. Maybe it’s his obsession with sports or the fact his eyes are too close together. Either way, you don’t have any good reasons to reject him, so you don’t. You keep the relationship alive because he’s the type of person you can talk to for hours, even if his jokes make you cringe.

Now, flash forward two months from now. When he does nice things for you, instead of feeling good, you feel guilty as though you aren’t pulling the weight in your relationship. You want it to work because he’s nice, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Yet, you find yourself wanting space. Wanting to be alone.

It’s time to break it off. Even if you initially feel horrible, you aren’t doing him a favor by keeping him in a lopsided relationship. And just because someone is nice, doesn’t mean you are obligated to like them. In fact, you aren’t obligated to like anyone. So why settle? If you let him go, he might find someone who laughs at all his jokes and loves his close-set eyes. Sometimes letting someone go is the nicest thing you can do for someone.

2. He doesn’t take an interest in your life

Now that you’ve moved on, you’re back in the dating business again. You come across a guy who laughs at your jokes, can keep up a conversation and seems interested in dating you. But two weeks later, talking to him becomes like pulling teeth. You find there are more awkward pauses. Every date becomes oddly unsatisfying.

The truth is, a lot of people are only interested in relationships; they aren’t actually interested in you. Dating these types of people can be very frustrating. If you find that you aren’t connecting with someone, recognize it and break it off. Don’t trudge through another two weeks in hopes of connecting to the person because you probably never will.

3. Your friends don’t like him

Say you are a good judge of character, but sometimes attraction can alter your perception of a person. Your friends tend to like the same people as you do, and since they aren’t biased, they may be able to evaluate a person’s character more accurately than you can.

Sometimes it can be difficult to truly gauge how your friends feel about someone. They may be reluctant to tell you their true feelings about a guy that you date. For example, after I finished a relationship, my best friend told me she thought my ex came off as perverted and arrogant.

A guy’s popularity among your friends shouldn’t make or break your relationship, but it is definitely something worth considering.

4. He makes you feel insecure

A guy doesn’t have to be abusive to make you feel bad about yourself. While a good relationship can make you feel empowered, a bad relationship you might question if you are the type of person that gets on everyone’s nerves.

Do the jokes you tell seem to annoy him? Does he act utterly bored every time you tell a story? Does he not smile and laugh a lot when you are around him as opposed to when he’s around other people? Does he go out of his way to spend a lot of time with you? If you are in a relationship and find yourself not feeling close to someone, it’s time to reevaluate.

Chances are it’s not you; it’s him. Actually it’s both of you. Maybe this is some sort of weird social physics involved, but I find that if a person doesn’t like me, I usually don’t like them back. If it seems like your boyfriend isn’t into you, it’s time to ask yourself if you are into him. Does he make you laugh? Is he a nice person? Do you enjoy his company?

If he makes you feel like crap, the answers to these questions are probably no! Once you realize that you dislike a person that dislikes you, it makes the possibility of a break up a lot easier to cope with.

5. You’ve considered breaking up, but aren’t sure how to go about it

In the past I’ve always been the type of person to deny reality. In the past, this has led to some pretty awful situations. Sometimes it can be a hard to let someone go, even if your time with them has long past expired.

Last year, I wanted to break up with my boyfriend, but I was afraid of losing my best friend. I waited until he became so fed up with my lack of affection, and then he dumped me. That day I did lose my best friend, but instead of feeling sadness, I felt relief. Because I had put off ending the relationship so long, I caused myself a lot of unnecessary stress. I hurt him with the truth, but I was lucky he had been a good person. If you have good reasons for breaking things off and are dating a reasonable person, chances are that things won’t be as bad you think they will be.

A couple months later, I got dumped after dating this guy for a month. I suspected he was beginning to lose interest, but I didn’t suspect he would break things off so soon. I felt hurt, angry and upset. I really shouldn’t have been. From the beginning, it was clear that relationship wasn’t going to go anywhere. Had he not taken the initiative, I probably would have dragged it out another month. While I felt upset at first, once I got used to not having him around, I felt a lot happier! A few weeks later, I started dating someone else who was a much better fit. I realized how incompatible we had been, and had the original guy not ended it, I probably wouldn’t be in the relationship I am in now—a one that I consider worth continuing.

So, collegiettes, what are your tell tale signs you should break it off? Sound off in a comment below!

Kristin Tajlili is a recent graduate of UNC-Chapel Hill, where she studied Journalism, Graphic Design and Creative Writing. As an undergraduate she wrote for various different student publications. Kristin also enjoys sleeping, collecting postcards and eating ALL the burritos. Her favorite food is cheese.
Megan McCluskey is a recent graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with a B.A. with Distinction in Journalism and Mass Communication, and a second major in French. She has experience as a Campus Correspondent and Contributing Writer for Her Campus, a Public Relations Consultant for The V Foundation, an Editorial Assistant for TV Guide Magazine and Carolina Woman magazine, a Researcher for MTV, and a Reporter and Webmaster for the Daily Tar Heel. She is an obsessive New England Patriots and Carolina basketball fan, and loves spending time with her friends and family (including her dogs), going to the beach, traveling, reading, online shopping and eating bad Mexican food.