My parents have taught me a lot over the course of my life.
They’ve been there every step of the way, from teaching me to walk to teaching me how to drive. There are countless lessons I’ve learned from my parents, and, although it was hard to pick just a few, here are the five that I think are the most important.
1. Believe in yourself
Like everyone else, I’ve had moments in which I’ve doubted myself. I’ve often underestimated myself and my abilities, downplaying my accomplishments and obsessing over my failures.
In these moments, my parents have always encouraged me to believe in myself. Whenever I’m feeling discouraged, I remind myself of what my parents have taught me: I can do anything I set my mind to.
I’ve found infinite strength in knowing that I’m capable, in finally giving myself credit for what I’ve accomplished and in knowing my worth, and I owe it to my parents for helping me become confident in my abilities.
2. Always be kind
Another important thing I’ve learned from my parents is that you never know what someone may be going through, and a little bit of kindness can go a long way.
I’ve learned that kindness doesn’t always have to manifest in large gestures, but rather, it may simply be smiling at someone when you walk past them or thanking a customer service worker for their assistance.
In my mom’s words, “Kindness costs nothing.” It doesn’t take a lot to show someone a little kindness, and it can often mean more than you realize to those on the receiving end.
3. Be your own self-advocate
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this one from my parents, specifically my dad. In the past, hearing this phrase sometimes brought frustration or irritation. Now, I realize that it’s one of the most important lessons my parents have imparted upon me.
It’s a big world, and there are endless opportunities out there. While I have a lot of resources and people who are willing to support me in my endeavors, at the end of the day, I’m the only one who’s responsible for taking the initiative.
Being my own advocate means being ambitious and working hard; it means being able to motivate myself and realize that it’s my responsibility to utilize the countless opportunities at my disposal.
4. Be yourself
My parents have always encouraged me to be myself.
Throughout everything in my life — the ups, the downs, every change and transition I’ve gone through — my parents have supported me unconditionally. When I came out to them, I was met with nothing but love. Additionally, since then, they have maintained an open mind and welcomed further education in order to fully support me.
My parents also expressed their support throughout every step of my college application process. When I thought I wanted to go to school for one specific area of study, my parents helped me look for colleges that provided and had good programs for that major. When I realized, okay, maybe I don’t want to do that, they reassured me that it was okay not to know what I want to do and helped me look around for more schools that had programs for my other interests.
Now that I’m in university, some of those sentiments are still present. Sometimes, I’ll text my parents, questioning my major or what I want to do with my life. Throughout all of this, my parents always made sure I knew they would support me in whatever I did.
Instead of forcing me into a major I’m not passionate about, my parents encouraged me to be myself and delve into my passions and interests. Instead of forcing me to conform to any sort of ideal, my parents taught me that there is endless value in being myself.
My parents taught me to embrace who I truly am. I don’t have to hide any part of myself, take a certain career path or change who I am in order appease anyone else. I am me, and that’s what’s most important.
5. It’s okay to ask for help
The first time I saw my parents since they helped me move into my college dorm, I was excited to tell them how much fun I was having and how many great experiences I had already had. Instead of doing that, I started crying.
When I saw my parents, I realized how much I missed them. I realized that I was homesick, which, admittedly, made me feel a little dumb because I’m no more than half an hour away from home. I know people who are much, much farther from home than I am. I have a friend from California, a friend from Florida, a friend from Alaska. Instead of a 30-minute car ride, I know people who have to take flights across the Atlantic Ocean in order to go home.
For numerous reasons, I felt silly for crying in a mall in Carrboro, when I saw my parents for the first time after move-in day. I was lucky that I got to see them at all. Plus, I know people who are doing just fine away from their families.
I was worried that missing my family and friends that much made me immature or less independent. That night, my parents took me back to my house and reassured me that wasn’t the case at all.
They told me that it’s okay to go home sometimes. It’s okay to miss your family. It’s okay to ask for help.
Sometimes, I get caught up in the experience of college. I get so caught up in the need to be independent that I forget that it’s okay to ask for help, sometimes. When I get overwhelmed, my parents are right there to let me know that asking for help doesn’t make me any less mature.
In fact, they’ve taught me that asking for help is one of the most mature things you can do. Realizing you need help and being able to ask for it is an important life skill. Seeking assistance from professors, coworkers, family, friends or peers doesn’t make you dependent — it just makes you human.
Everyone needs help sometimes, and just because someone may need to ask for help more or less often than I do doesn’t make them any more mature or immature than I am.
That day wasn’t the last time I went home, nor was it the last time I felt guilty about wanting to do so. But, thanks to my parents, I’m working on getting better at asking for help when I need it and at not feeling bad about myself when I do.
I know that I can ask my mom and dad for help whenever, and I’m extremely grateful for that. I’m lucky to have a family that I can go home to when I need to, a family that is always there to support me.
But, what I’m most thankful for is having parents who have so lovingly taught me countless invaluable lessons that will stick with me for the rest of my life.