The Difference Between Christmas Now And Christmas As A Kid
Leading up to Christmas:
As a kid: Looking around the pound shop and spending £10 on everybody’s presents and thinking you’ve got them the best Christmas presents ever.
Now: Only having £10 to spend on everyone but getting demands left right and centre for their favourite perfume, the latest video game or a new pair of shoes. Don’t you know students get hardly any money?
Advent Calendars:
As a Kid: Wake up excitedly every morning to eat yet another really yummy chocolate and finding the picture behind the window really funny or really pretty.
Now: If you do actually end up buying an advent calendar, you either eat it all at once and regret it because the chocolate’s awful and tastes of wood or you have one and forget about it until March and end up throwing it out because the chocolate has all gone white.
Christmas Music:
As a Kid: You sing along to every song that comes on and hope that Santa will see you have such good Christmas spirit that he might sneak you an extra present.
Now: If you hear one more Christmas song you might explode. It’s bad enough working an 8 hour shift with a tacky Christmas album on repeat, but hearing it in EVERY OTHER SHOP you walk into. No thank you.
Mistletoe:
As a Kid: Ew ew ew! You avoid it at every cost, you don’t want your Great Aunt Linda giving you a wet, slobbery kiss on the cheek.
Now: You stand under every piece you see in the hope that Prince Charming, or any half decent looking guy will come and give you something to make Christmas that little bit better. It’s the only chance you may actually get any action that year.
Christmas Eve:
As a Kid: Sleeping is impossible. You beg to open a present early, have a hot chocolate, watch a Christmas film with the family, leave some snacks for Santa and then wait by the window in case you see him. You never do. You just fall asleep fully clothed clutching so hard at a cookie that it crumbles in your hand.
Now: You want to avoid sitting in with your annoying younger siblings and can’t promise you won’t tell them that Santa isn’t real and so you put on your best glad rags and hit the town. Drink shots and vodka and tequila and when it turns midnight you don’t even realise it’s Christmas because your head is in the toilet and you’re crying because it turns out the guy you kissed under the mistletoe is your Great Uncle’s Second Cousin.
Christmas Morning:
As a Kid: You wake up at stupid hours in the morning, pounce on your parents and scream with joy that Santa had in fact come! You forget about Co-Co Pops this morning and go straight to the lounge and pray you got the latest Barbie set/loom bands.
Now: Hungover. Screaming siblings. Go away. You don’t want to get out of bed at 6AM so you can open a new pair of socks and knickers. You pull the covers over your head and hope they forget about you.
The Rest of Christmas Day:
As a Kid: You play with all your toys, then your siblings toys, watch a film, carry on playing with toys, eat your dinner, and carry on playing with your toys until you fall asleep from exhaustion. It’s been a long day of playing.
Now: When you eventually get up, you thank your family awkwardly for getting you a Justin Bieber album. Really? Then you spend the rest of the day trying to avoid those forgotten-about-Aunts who ask you every question under the sun. Do you have a boyfriend? Are you getting good grades? Are you helping mum around the house? And then you sit at dinner trying to hold your hungover vomit in as you cannot stand to even look at food. You desperately try to fall asleep early so that Christmas is over.
Boxing Day:
As a Kid: You wake up early again and continue playing with your toys until midday when you realised you’re now bored and want to go and play with a friend and their toys. You go out and only come back when you’re bored of their toys too.
Now: You wake up early and feel a lot better. You go downstairs and pick at the leftover turkey as you’re starving having not eaten much yesterday. You watch endless T.V, check Facebook to see that all your friends seem to have been given much better presents then you and then text all of your friends to see if they want to go out. Again. You’re glad Christmas is over, until next year at least.