Dear Agony Aunt,
“There’s this guy that I like but the thing is he is a friends brother…we aren’t that close anymore now that I have moved to uni but don’t want to risk a blow up by seeing him?…I think he feels the same way but I don’t know! We text and Snapchat a bit but I’m scared I’m just annoying him as I am the one to instigate it…and although he replies I just don’t know… I think I want to actually start seeing him but don’t know what to do!?” – Confused First Year from Canterbury Campus.
Dear Confused First Year,
Boys can be complicated. The question you have to ask yourself is: has he given you reason to believe that he likes you, or are just you thinking that he does because he takes the time to reply to your messages? There’s a fine line between a guy actually liking you and just being friendly. Is it just general chit chat? Or is he complimenting you and responding to your flirting?
If he is flirting with you, you’ll know straight away. He may not continue the flirting with every conversation you have, which can be confusing, but they’ll be certain things he’ll say. Over snap chat he might say “Oh you look pretty today”, or via text he may say something that could lead you to think that “Hey, this boy is actually interested!”. If he’s saying stuff like this, you’re one step closer to knowing whether the fuss of the situation is worth it. If he hasn’t, then I’d personally say, that he thinks of you as friends. Another way you can be 100% sure on the whole “does he, doesn’t he” front is not to talk to him. Strange aye!
You say that you instigate majority of the conversation and that makes you feel like you’re irritating him, well if you were, he wouldn’t respond to you. But to discover whether he likes you more than friend or not, you should give him the opportunity to start a conversation with you. If a couple of days pass and he doesn’t start a conversation with you, then he’s clearly not bothered, and you shouldn’t be either. If he starts the conversation with you, then you know that there must be something he likes about the situation to continue it on.
If you were once really close to your friend, then it may be best to facebook her and ask her what she thinks on the situation. You don’t have to go into detail, just say you’ve been talking to her brother and want to ask him out, but wanted to make sure that she was okay with it first. By then you’ll be more certain on whether he likes you or not, and I’m sure your friend won’t mind either. After that, the next step is to be brave. Just ask him out! It doesn’t have to be the guy that asks the girl out, it’s the 21st century after all! He may say yes, he may say no, it’s just something you have to be brave and deal with and at least after all this, you’ll have your answer and won’t be worried anymore!
Good luck,
Agony Aunt Lauren.
Are you in need of advice? Her Campus Canterbury Christ Church has a team of Agony Aunties waiting to give you the best of their advice with complete confidentiality, just email cccumyuni@gmail.com