We’ve all been there before
You meet a guy or a girl and start hanging out. You’re doing things people in a relationship do, but you don’t have a label. Then the question we all hate to ask — “What are we?” — starts ringing in your head. You begin overthinking and wondering if you’re doing too much, when in reality, clarity and communication are the most important things you need when talking to someone new. So, I will be listing the differences between a relationship and a situationship so you’re not stuck asking the hard question.
What is a situationship?
A situationship is when you are physically and emotionally connected to someone without clear commitment. That person may be there for you part-time rather than being fully there for you consistently. Some signs of a situationship include no talks about the future or where the connection might go, inconsistent effort, and confusion about expectations. If you are not clear from the beginning about your intentions with someone, you could end up in a situationship filled with unwanted confusion. Usually, people end up in situationships because of commitment issues, convenience, or a lack of clarity.
What defines a relationship?
A true relationship has clear and mutual commitment. You don’t have to question whether that person will be there for your special moments or when you need support. In a relationship, you can see growth no matter what situations occur. You’ll be integrated into that person’s life, including family, friends, and future plans.
Why situationships feel so intense
In situationships, there’s a sense of uncertainty that stays in the back of your mind. You may hold onto hope that something more will eventually come from it if you stay longer, which sometimes happens but not always. This uncertainty can also cause anxiety and overthinking. “What are we?” is a question that scares a lot of people because they don’t want to put a label on something that feels good, but in reality, this conversation is the best way to clear the air and make sure both people are on the same page.
How to tell which one you’re in
It’s important to understand which one you’re in early on so you don’t struggle moving on or deal with unnecessary heartbreak. Can you openly have a conversation with this person about the future without them changing the topic or avoiding it? Do their actions match their words? Are they hiding details or leaving things out so you don’t find out? Do you hear things from other people about them that they probably should’ve told you first? Lastly, do you feel calm and secure, or are you constantly guessing when you’re with this person?
How to move forward
Modern dating isn’t broken, but clarity definitely matters. When it comes to talking to someone new, remember to set clear boundaries and communicate what you want. And remember — it’s okay if that person isn’t looking for the same thing. There is someone out there who is, and you shouldn’t give up on that. Never beat yourself up for walking away, because at the end of the day, you know what’s best for you.
Hope all of you have a happy Valentine’s Day!
Xoxo, Ugo