The age old question still remains: should you be friends with your ex or leave them alone for good? Can you really go from going on dates to just hanging out? Just your luck ladies because we have the answers! We’ve rounded up the opinions of students around campus to figure out exactly how to solve this old aged dilemma.
Pros
1. Figuring Out Why It Ended. Being friends with your ex gives you the chance to really talk about why you broke up. When you’re in the midst of a relationship it can be hard to talk about your feelings without feeling guarded. When the relationship is removed from the equation you are free to discuss exactly what went wrong.
2. This Person Knows You Better Than Most. If you started out as friends before the relationship and didn’t end on a horrible note, then you don’t have to lose the person as a part of your life. In fact this person probably knows you better than a lot of other people, so they can give you advice that no one else would be able to do .
3. A New Opportunity. One door has closed and now another new opportunity has opened. It gives you a chance to have a friend that you don’t have to do the awkward “getting to know you” stage that you had to do with all of your friends. This person already know each other’s favorite color, the movies you like and what restaurants you like so you can dive into all the friend activities. Plus, now you can all hang out with other people and not make anyone the third wheel.
4. Shows your maturity. Your ability to maintain a healthy friendship with your former partner requires a certain level of maturity. People sometimes just grow apart or the timing might just have been wrong. It is very mature to be able to accept that the two of you weren’t meant to be together.
5. You Get to see a Different Side. Now that this person isn’t your romantic partner you can see them in a different light. There’s no more trying to constantly cater to each other and make each other happy. You’re friends now and don’t have to sugar coat anything to avoid a big fight.
Cons
1. Exes Are Exes for a Reason. What happened in the past should stay in the past.
2. The Past Can Get in the Way. So the two of you have decided to be friends and hang out. Well when you have a history with someone old feelings can creep up and take over. This can lead to awkward and confusing situations, like maybe we should get back together conversations.
Furthermore, if the two of you get into an argument as friends old emotions from the relationship can be brought back into the picture. So even if what happened in your relationship doesn’t pertain to the argument at hand, people might start hitting below the belt.
3. Intimacy. Let’s face it if you’re going to be friends with your ex you’re probably very comfortable with them. So when you’re together you two could be tempted to act in a “more than friendly-way”…like the saying goes, “Old habits die hard.”
4 .Family Feud. Being friends with your ex can be hard especially if the two of you share friends, go to the same school, work together, and especially if your families are close. As if its not already hard enough to see your ex amongst your friends or every day at work or school, it becomes especially hard when your family is more heartbroken than you are about the relationship ending. They already had flowers, music and a venue for your wedding mapped out and now their hopes and dreams have been crush and they will NOT let you forget it.
5. Inability to move on. If one person isn’t over the other person then things can get confusing. There could be one person who wants to strictly be friends while the other sees an opportunity to get back together. This could potentially end a friendship and relationship.
6. You feel forced to be friends with that person. Just because you dated, talked, or were in a relationship with someone does not mean that they have to be a part of your life for the rest of your life. If you weren’t friends before the relationship and you don’t see the value of keeping them in your life then don’t force it. No one should judge you for not wanting to maintain contact with this person.
7. Jealousy. Jealousy can come in any form and from anyone. Whether you or your ex gets jealousy when a new beau comes into the picture or the new beau gets jealous and skeptical of your friendship. It might be better to just leave your ex alone to avoid anyone having nasty feelings towards each other.
Ultimately, it is completely your decision if you want to be friends with your ex or not. Don’t let other people’s expectations keep you from making the best choice for you. Perhaps you can become BFFs with your former beau or maybe you would rather set your hair on fire than call them your buddy. Either way do whatever makes you happy because that is what’s most important.