Junior year has been the year of new possibilities and overall change. I want to experiment not only in my career field but in my personal life as well. For me, this starts with my hair. I always wear my hair in a bun or in a ponytail, but the summer before junior year I saved up my coins to purchase some bundles. For the folks in the back who don’t know what “bundles” are, it just means weave. I had a friend of mine make a wig for me and BOOM. I began this quest to find a new version of myself. I wore the wig for the first time over the summer to get adjusted to it, and I felt this new change was definitely worth it. I would be giving my hair a break while trying out this new, cute style.
When I first stepped onto campus, I noticed change. I’m not saying this in a conceited way, because I’m far from it, but I noticed I got even more attention now since I changed my hairstyle. I wasn’t wearing anything different than what I’d normally wear, so I knew it couldn’t be my outfits. Then, I noticed that my guy friends would compliment me on my hair more often. They would say how surprised they were to see my new style and that I’ve changed since freshman year.
I took these comments as compliments because I knew they meant well, but I started to feel like I was losing who I really was. I cared too much about my looks and not enough about my classes. I was missing assignments, and forgetting things I normally wouldn’t. I know that the blame isn’t entirely on my hair, but it’s been a habit of mine to neglect my outer appearance while in school.
I also felt like people weren’t appreciating me for my true, genuine self. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I don’t know what my “genuine” self really is, and I’ve been wanting to make changes. So, I took off my wig and went back to my bun in order to feel “genuine”, whatever that is. I’m starting to notice a lack in compliments and looks, which I could care less about, but I find it rather interesting. Why do people find you more interesting when you change your look? Am I boring as a natural haired girl? Am I less attractive when I don’t have weave?
All of these questions, yet I already know the answer lies within. Like my good sis Lauryn once said, “How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?”
I know, I know. I always quote other people. I love quotes, I love music and I love all things storytelling (as it says in my bio down below). I honestly want to live by that quote because I really haven’t been winning lately. Like…. at all. So, goodbye wig, hello inner peace.
Photo Credits: Thumbnail