One day, I dreamt of the past while the other, I am grateful for the present. I sometimes think about my freshman year of college in 2019. When I was a tad bit careless and “I’ll find a way or make one” was, purely, a school motto – not a mindset for survival.
It’s as if I blinked once, and there I was: standing in front of the mass media arts building preparing to begin my junior year of college. I had spent an entire academic year of remote learning, attempting to cast the same spell Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz utilized. I was clicking my red heels three times and reciting, “there’s no place like home.” But in this instance, I had to remind myself that there is no place like CAU.
As I stood in front of the MMA building, I returned to reality. Viewing my university’s campus through the gaze of a Freshman with the face of a junior blindsided by the past. This became clear when an actual freshman asked me where the academic advisor’s office was, and I couldn’t even remember myself.
At that moment, I felt an urge to accept the given circumstances. I reminded myself that I could admit that I don’t know what to do and not feel embarrassed or apprehensive. I can merely navigate through the Freshman Gaze– the ability to feel disoriented without worry.
There are limitless possibilities as to who I can grow into within this next year, and the Freshman Gaze allows me to feel no rush to know them all by tomorrow. However, if you ever feel yourself feeling like time is escaping your presence, consider these two tips to practice viewing through the Freshman Gaze: become open to receiving, or asking for, help when you are stumped, even if you thought you’d done this before. Also, remember that there is no shame in restarting or resetting; there are always greater opportunities to seize.