Are there levels of sexuality? Can someone be considered more straight or gay because of the way they dress, act or talk? The answer is no. One’s sexuality should not be judged by how feminine/flamboyant or masculine they are. Growing up in a Black community there were always people (specifically the OG’s) who would be uncomfortable being around flamboyant gay men. Seeing things like that would confuse me because they would not be uncomfortable or make homophobic jokes towards the men who were not as flamboyant. Usually, in situations like this, a gay man’s sexuality is put into categories or there are “levels”, on top of there being levels, everything they do is “gay”. Most of the time, when heterosexual men are judging or making negative comments towards gay men it’s because they’re questioning their own sexuality and they are not as comfortable with who they are. In other cases, they make certain homophobic comments because they feel like every gay man is trying to hit on them. Reality check, not every gay man wants you because they have standards. People also treat straight men this way. Black people have a habit of judging someone’s sexuality based off of hobby’s, clothes or how one carries themselves. When a Black man is growing up it is instilled in them to act, dress and speak a certain way, so anytime a Black man goes outside of what they were taught, their sexuality is automatically questioned.
Why when a Black man decides to not wear neutral colors or primary colors they are questioned and taunted? People become so overcome with confusion because all they know how to be is overly masculine and when someone comes around who is comfortable with who they are and don’t need to be in a t-shirt and jeans to show off how masculine they are it makes them uncomfortable. To have this mindset is completely unacceptable. Men, gay or straight, should be able to take care of themselves without having their masculinity or sexuality questioned. Just because a man likes to take care of himself or dresses nice does not mean he’s apart of the LGBTQ+ community and we all need to recognize that! We have no right to assume someone’s sexuality and I can’t stress that enough.
Life is already hard for the Black man and our community should not be making it harder by forcing them to conform to old-school mindsets and ways of living. It is okay for boys to paint their nails, with clear or colored polish, it is okay for them to wear bright colors and crop tops because it is their way of expressing themselves. It does not make them gay, they just prefer to keep up with their hygiene. And believe it or not, they might just actually be super content with who they are and the only way they express their personality is through their clothes. So a message to the carefree Black boys in the world, it is okay to be who you are, and you being this way is opening doors for young Black boys who may be afraid to be who they truly are. Gay or Straight. So keep doing you!