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The Horrid Love Life of a College Girl Pt.3

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CAU chapter.

Hey, Y’all! So this article is a continuation of my article series, that gives an in-depth description of my “love life” throughout my early adolescence up to my later teenage years. To catch you up, in the last two articles we discussed Jordan and Dylan. Jordan wasn’t my boyfriend, but he was the first of a plethora of f*ckboys that I have encountered, while Dylan was my very first boyfriend. To say that both of these situations ended in a disaster would be an understatement, but if you would like to read more the links to those articles are above and connected to each name. 

Today we’re going to get into Damon, and just to let you guys know, I had to come to someone as a woman for this little boy. Let’s get started. I met Damon my junior year of high school just a little after my sixteenth birthday, through my best friend at the time, Jayla. The only reason I even considered getting into this situationship is that Jayla had started “dating” Damons best friend, Kenneth. For some reason, Kenneth wanted to be a matchmaker and thought that if he was going to be in a relationship, his best friend needed to be in one as well.

As mentioned before I didn’t want to get involved with this boy or anyone, for that matter. But being the great friend that I am, I decided to take one for the team and go along with getting to know Damon. I did not like this boy. Not one bit. Not even slightly, and honestly I was definitely psyching myself out because I had been traumatized from my last relationship, because who would want to get into another situation right after being cheated on? But even against my gut feelings and all my instincts, I continued to get to know him. I’m not going to lie to you guys, I did start to like him, and I don’t really know when or why it happened.

Eventually, we decided to meet up at his house and now that I’m thinking back on it I probably should have suggested a different meetup spot because I could have been kidnapped or something worse, but I was young and reckless. That first day that we had met, I was introduced to his ENTIRE family, and this isn’t an exaggeration. When I walked in his mother and grandmother were standing in the kitchen making some sort of snack and his two brothers (one older and one younger) were sitting in the living room, picking at each other. I should have known something was strange about him because this was the first time we were hanging out, why would he introduce me to his entire family?

As usual, I ignored the little voice in my head that told me to dip while I could and continued to see Damon. After that first meetup, we saw each other almost every weekend and sometimes during the week after school. I felt like everything had worked out perfectly, especially since Jayla and Kenneth were together. As both of our relationships grew, I  made a list of things we could do together as a group since we were all friends. Jayla and I were the queens of lurking and spying, we had been through a lot with boys and somehow that justified our lack of respect for Damon and Kenneth’s privacy. Usually, when Jayla and I looked on their social media accounts we never found anything too incriminating… but this day was different.

One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting under the dryer in the hair salon waiting for my turn to get my hair blown out because I was going to meet up with Jayla, Kenneth, and Damon to celebrate Damon’s birthday. At that moment, I just so happened to decide to look on Damon’s facebook page. Now here’s a piece of advice, don’t ever go looking for information on whoever you’re dealing with, because there is a HUGE chance that you’re going to get your feelings hurt. I scrolled through his birthday wishes and the last post that I saw was a long, message from someone named Diana. Within Diana’s post, she talked about how much she loved Damon and how happy she is to be with him and how she couldn’t wait to see him later that night.

My blood was boiling. I couldn’t help but wonder why this kept happening to me, why did these boys feel like they could continue to treat me this way? I wondered if I had “Lie to me” or “Dumbass” written across my forehead. That night I sent Damon the screenshots of Diana’s long, well-written essay in which declared her undying “love” for him and he left me on read. At this point, I was feeling irrational, nuts, and I wanted to do something crazy. I found Diana’s Instagram and came to her as a woman. BIG MISTAKE. I sent Diana the messages and pictures between us and let her know how sorry I was because I knew how it felt to be in that position. At first, Diana seemed sweet but she definitely fooled me. When I went to check her Instagram the next day I found that I had been blocked, which was crazy to me because all I wanted to do was help her out. Turns out she blocked me because she wanted to call me an ugly b*tch and they stayed together for like a month. I won’t be coming to someone as a woman ever again, lesson learned.

At this point in my life, I had realized that I needed to take things at my own pace, I stopped letting my friends convince me to go out with boys that I didn’t really know or care about and I started listening to my intuition more. Instead of worrying about boys and what they had going on I decided to focus more on myself and in the end, I felt much better about myself. I knew that if I were meant to be in a relationship it would happen, but I had to stop forcing it. 

Part four is going to get much more emotional than these last three, especially since I’m going to be talking about the boy who actually took my virginity. If you’re a frequent reader of my articles then you’ll already know a good amount about this boy and what the end result of that relationship was. With that being said, see you all next week, as we get down to the knitty gritty!

CAU Woman, Writer, Creative Instagram:@Sola.ce