The months before my birthday are always a nostalgic time in my life. I like to think about what I was doing last year, who my friends were and more importantly where I want to be at this time next year.
This year was different. Instead of me thinking of all the great things I had accomplished in my almost twenty years of life, I became overwhelmed with all the things I needed to accomplish in this decade of my life. This is the decade that’s supposed to be the foundation of my life. I’m supposed to start my career, meet my husband, start a family and look great while doing it all. That’s a FULL-time job!
These questions were going through my mind like: How was I supposed to make all this happen? Who was I supposed to talk to? What if I wasn’t in the right place to make all this happen? What if I mess all these opportunities up when they come along? This was a level of adulting I was not ready for.
I was overthinking for all of three days before I realized that I was stressing out over something hasn’t even happened. I had to calm down before I overthought myself into oblivion. These three mantras are what helped me do that.
#1. Everything that is for me, will always be for me.
That job that I am supposed to have? It will find me. The family that I am supposed to have? It will happen naturally. Everything else around those things will all happen in due time.
#2 Community is essential, and no one is successful by themselves.
As a black woman, we are trained to do everything by ourselves, when in reality that is not feasible. I often must remind myself of that. Every place I needed to be I would have the proper assistance to get there because my support system was strong. Between myself and my village, I will not fail.
#3 Life happens at its own pace.
No matter how many timelines I create or Pinterest boards I had about my future life I could not plan my life out. I have to let things happen on their own time.
So as my twentieth birthday approaches, I now have new challenges to conquer that didn’t present themselves as a teenager. But instead of worrying about them, I’ve decided to see them as adventures. Putting in the groundwork for the foundation of your life should never be seen as a scary task but a beautiful opportunity to make the life that you want to live. So, I welcome this new beautiful opportunity with open arms and all the turn up that’s involved with it.