As you may have figured out by now, college is a whole new world! Everything is the same, yet so different, especially relationships. Dating in college is a lot more serious than it is in high school though. One specific dating issue that has the potential to occur during your college career is an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships occur more often than you think and can happen to anyone. Just like Rae Sremmurd, abusive relationships have “no type,” and 43% of dating college women report experiencing violent and abusive dating behaviors. No one ever willingly enters an abusive relationship. Most abusive relationships begin as normal as any other “regular” relationship, with the “Infatuation Stage”: the endless flirting, texting, long late night phone calls about nothing, etc.
BEWARE OF BEING MISLED BY YOUR INFATUATION!
Most of the warning signs that you’re about to enter the “Danger Zone” occur during this stage. It’s like there are dozens of sirens going off, trying to warn you to stop and turn around, but you can’t hear them because your infatuation is entirely too loud. According to loveisrespect.com, college students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse; 57% say it is difficult to identify, and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s experiencing it. Below are some warning signs of an abusive relationship.
Extreme jealousy/ Possessiveness– Your partner is constantly questioning and calling and/or texting you.
Judgmental/ Verbal Abuse– Your partner consistently criticizes what and how you do things, who you hang out with, how you dress, etc. ***Ladies, verbal abuse can lead to physical abuse!
Isolation– Your partner doesn’t like when you do things without them and makes you feel bad about doing them. They may even attempt to prevent you from going out.
Doesn’t take responsibility for their actions– Your partner blames everything on everyone else (including you) and feels they are never wrong or the source of the issue.
Moody– Your partner is sensitive and their mood can change in an instant, usually to anger.
Aggressiveness– Even if they’ve never harmed you, if your partner has a history of being aggressive, this too is a warning sign.
Unrealistic expectations– Although having high standards isn’t an issue or pushing your significant other to be great, if your partner sets UNREALISTIC expectations (i.e. things that make you feel uncomfortable), that too is an issue.
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please seek immediate help from someone in authority, such as an R.A., teacher, dean, campus security, or parent.
*National Domestic Violence Hotline: Staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224