In high school, the most cliche statement centered around the experience was “this is the time of your life.” In college, those above us say “this is where life begins”. As we excel in our academic careers, each chapter we enter is amped up as a unique spectacular experience. However, what is not glorified, is how much your growth outside of your academics is impacted. Entering college is your first exploration of real adulthood. What is revealed to you is the person you are when no one is around to guide you. Your life, your character, it’s all on you.
As I am now entering the second semester of my sophomore year, I am amazed to see how much I have changed and how much I continue to change. Upon graduating from high school, I felt on top of the world. At the time, I had beaten almost every odd stacked against me and I was ready to take on college as an eager, first-generation student. I was oblvious to what was in store, and the mystery of it just increased my excitement.
I spent the majority of my Freshmen year on a high of sorts. Not literally, and not on real drugs (lol) but the energy I had every day was unmatched. Now reflecting on this, I owe it all my gratitude for even being able to be on campus. College is not a feasible thought to most people where I come from, let alone a livable experience. Keeping that in mind, my first year was spent on shits and giggles. Everything was a new, fun, experience. What could go wrong?
What really hit me is how much I adored my collegiate life. I almost adored it to such an extent that I once I did go home for break, I was unable to know my place in a home setting. Who was the collegiate version of myself in the boundaries of home? Somehow the woman I grew into in college went into a self-destructive state at the means of hometown habits. I felt lost and without purpose. For whatever reason, I depended on my college experience to shield me from aspects of my traumatic past.
What I learned from that is how to grow with my pain instead of against it. College will present you with a variety of difficulties, some a new experience, and some a triggering experience of your past. But instead of depending on the new chapters of your life to take you away from the old, figure out how the two can overlap. College in a sense is where life begins, but it is not where your old life ends.