A lot of pressure comes with attending college, especially if you’re the first in your family to do so. There’s the reappearing thought of failing and being a disappointment. The constant anxiety that you might not make it through this college thing. Being that I’m a first-generation college student, understand that pressure and the anxiety. For many who are first generation college students, going back home doesn’t seem to be an option.
I am the first in my family to go to college and I am happy to have started my journey at an HBCU. It’s not that my family didn’t make the decision to attend college and receive a higher education…the resources were just not provided for them in that time. But I am blessed to have gotten the opportunity.
There are pros and cons of every situation and being a first gen college student is no different. Its like from the moment you made the decision to pursue a higher education, the weight of the world was placed on your shoulders. I literally have to remind myself everyday that I have a goal and a purpose, just to get myself to get up for class, because there are people out there who do not even have the opportunity to attend high school, let alone a college or university.
I look at where I have come from, both economically and socially, and it made me realize that I should be proud to have even made the step to go out of state and attending school. But there’s like this nagging feeling that constantly remind me that going back home isn’t really an option. I HAVE to stick this out and get my degree. It would make everyone so proud of me. Little old me, getting a degree. It’s like even though its rough and you’re struggling, you have to keep pushing and find a way to make it work. There’s really no one in your family to understand your struggle and give you first hand advice. So you just give yourself a pep talk and fake it ‘til you make it.
But it’s okay to feel like you don’t have it all together. That’s the beauty of college, it’s a chance to find yourself and understand who you are. Even if you don’t have anyone to follow after, be the leader for higher education in your family. Who knows, maybe your courage to come to college would encourage others in your family to do the same. You’re building your own legacy.
But regardless of the anxiety and the feeling of failure during your college years as a first-generation student, I am proud of you for taking this step and for even making it work. Look at how far you’ve come, so you can see the weight of your successes. Bask in your growth and your newfound adventures!