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Sex + Relationships

5 Steps To Help You Move On After A Break Up

Everyone knows dealing with a break up is hard. Here are five things that could help make your life a little easier during this time. Spread the word because maybe these words of advice can help someone else in a time of need. Everyone needs a reminder sometimes that life will be okay. Follow these steps and you’ll be moving on in no time.

1. Don’t search for answers

It is normal to question what went wrong in your relationship. Doing whatever it takes to pinpoint the exact moment things went left can be mentally draining. Rather than wondering what went wrong think about what went right. What did you gain from the relationship? Whether it be a friend, a life lesson, a first love, or an enemy. Acknowledge that the relationship happened and essentially something should be taken from it.

If you are constantly wondering what happened you might end up blaming yourself for problems in another individuals life. Sometimes it is just the wrong time whether it feels like it or not. If you love something let it go, and if it comes back don’t block the potential that it brings. Maybe you are with the right person but they need time to better themselves in order to be the best in a relationship. It is okay to not have all of the answers. Allow yourself to grasp the concept of what is happening and go from there.

2. Allow yourself to be sad

It is normal to cry when you are no longer with someone. Whether you were in love or not depending on how much time you and your partner shared, it could take an emotional toll on you. Confusion is normal as well. You may have a lot of “Why is this happening to me?” type of thoughts.

It is okay to take off your brave face and be vulnerable. It is also important to remind yourself that as you and your significant other splits, so did a million other couples. You aren’t the only person going through this. You need to realize that the condition or quality of being sad is typical and will only last for so long. The journey was beautiful and for it to be over is really disappointing in all honesty. The emotions you feel whether sad, angry, relieved, confused or maybe even happy should be expressed in whatever way you choose.

3. Listen to your friends and let them help you

It is okay to let people in during a time like this. Go out and party, have girls nights, or maybe even sleepovers. Tell your friends how you feel because most of them have been through it before. When they give you advice try to be open to a new perspective of the situation. Honesty hurts at times, but after a while, all the advice starts to come into play.

You will realize wow all of those words that were shared with you were said for a reason. A lot of people around you just want the best for you and you will find that out sooner or later. Hanging out with your girls is a good way to release all your pent up feelings and you can apply that energy into having fun and moving on!

4. I scream you scream we all scream for ice cream

It sounds cliche but ice cream really helps during a breakup. All of the flavors go crazy and you just have so much to choose from. Personally, I prefer to take the plain jane route and get vanilla with a couple of cherries. It is truly a great pick me up to treat yourself to a sweet treat. It always makes me feel better no matter what, but when going through a breakup it gives an extra boost.

5. Stray from making irrational decisions that aren’t mentally beneficial

Of course, when you are going through a breakup it might feel like the right decision to make impulsive decisions and do the first crazy things that come to mind. I hate to break it to you, but that is the wrong answer. Later on, you might find that it is hurting you mentally rather than helping you get over the situation. Masking these emotions by making impulsive decisions such as random hookups, doing dangerous activities, and excessively using drugs or alcohol can all hurt you in the end.

It is truly sad to watch some individuals after a break up as they begin to spiral down in an attempt to mask their true feelings. They put on a facade by doing things they wouldn’t normally do just to take the pain away. There are other solutions to solve the problems that come with a break up whether it is counseling, girl time, writing and reflecting, getting away for a little while, or even finding a new hobby to get into. There are always other options other than throwing your life away when it comes to situations such as these.

I hope you gained some helpful takeaways from this advice. It is important to remember that this doesn’t last forever and you are never alone. It is okay to be sad and find someone to talk to even a stranger might be willing to listen. Don’t shut everyone out and make sure to get out and have fun! Don’t let this situation alter who you are as a person. Remember your worth and accept the situation for what it is rather than what it could be.


Greetings, my name is Kayla Martinez. I am a freshman at Clark Atlanta University, and I'm a speech communications major. I moved to Atlanta Georgia after graduating high school in Auburn New York. I am excited for this journey and it is a pleasure to be able to say I'm apart of HerCampus CAU.
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