Mom: one word, but so many meanings. So many meanings, but impossible to translate them into a text. On this special date, I don’t want to waste your time with those cliches texts about how we love and are eternally grateful for our mother. I want to talk about young moms. I want to share stories that Gabriela Moraes, Amanda Alvarenga, Jéssica Miwa and so many other girls went through.
Gabriela Moraes always dreamed about being a mom, she is the oldest cousin of her family so she likes to take care of everyone. In 2010, she was diagnosed with cerebral thrombosis which means she would have difficult to get pregnant and would have to do a procedure if she wanted to have a baby and, as she did, she started saving money. When she found out her pregnancy in 2013 it was a total surprise. She had her doctor supervision, because it was high risk and she had to take injection every day. Another shock to Gabriela was her family reaction, since everyone got really happy and excited with the news, as her “boyfriend-husband” (as she likes to say) who was much supportive during all this period. In the beginning, she was scared and thought about stop studying for a while, but she remembered “My mom told me ‘You do not refuse a blessing’ and that phrase changed my way of seeing everything was going on with me” and that’s why she felt she had to give 100% of her to show how thankful she was. She continued not only studying, but working until 15 days before giving birth to Beatriz. She remarked that her daughter born in May of 2014, when we had World Cup in Brazil, so the vacations were anticipated and she didn’t miss any class, once she didn’t ask for maternity license and got back in August, 1st. She highlighted that her friends were very understandable and gave her strength to deal with that by saying they were really proud for her commitment and for not giving up on the baby. They also organized a surprise Baby Tea (Chá de Bebê) for her which made her very happy. On the last year, she focuses on her Course Conclusion Paper and decided to not work and just take care of her daughter. “My reward was to get in with her on graduation day. Seeing the entire auditorium applauding… It just made everything worth it… For me, for her”. In the beginning, she, her boyfriend and Beatriz were living with Gabriela’s mom, but, today, they have their own house. She revealed that her friends, family and boyfriend support were decisive for her to stay positive and go through all of this. By the end, she added “I am very thankful for my moms (mother and stepmother) for everything they are for me and I hope to teach all the values they taught me to my daughter with the same mastery”.
Amanda Alvarenga got pregnant on her second year of University and Maria Eduarda was born in 2012. Before she found out about her pregnancy, she was having the life that she always wanted, going out, shopping and travelling. She didn’t want to have a baby, she commented that she wasn’t patient or affective, so her first reaction was negative, but only for a while. When she did the exams, Amanda found out she was 3 months pregnant and something changed inside her. Her boyfriend got very happy with the news just as her friends, which she mentioned “One of the best parts of having this early pregnancy was seeing how much my friends love and care about me”, but the same didn’t apply to her mom who didn’t talk to her for more than 2 months… No, you don`t have to be sad, she sooner started to notice Amanda’s excitement and changed her mind. She didn’t stop the college or internship during this period, she remained on her regular routine but with some limitations and only stopped 20 days before giving birth. She had those three months off college, but kept doing all the works and homework at home. Amanda confessed “My biggest difficulty during pregnancy was dealing with myself. I took a long time to accept I would have a baby, a life that would depend on me and I would have to give up on lot of things and dreams”. After everything, she just thinks that it’s silly to try to plan your life, “Everyday I’m a different person, because my daughter teaches me something new and changes me”. Today, she is single, lives with her mom and she is working as Senior Analist of Social Media. She is completely realized, much more than she imagined to be when saw those positive tests. This experience made Amanda valorizes her mom more than she already did and, now, she has her as best friend (“and the second one is my daughter”). She assumed that wouldn’t change a thing she did and declared college was the best phase of her life, not only for the crazy parties and friends she made, but for carrying in her belly the most precious present of her life.
Jéssica Miwa, Gael’s mom, discovered her pregnancy on the third year of college. She had broken up with the kid’s father, who was against her having the baby, like her parents. Things got worse as she had just started a new internship by the time she found out. However she was pretty sure she wanted to have the kid and she worked until the last day she could. Her boss was willing to give her maternity leave and promised to keep her job. When she returned, he wasn’t working there anymore, and the company didn’t keep his promise. Luckily, she wasn’t counting on it, because she got another job as a freelancer. She confessed “My fight for a respectful and humanized calving wasn’t easy at all, just as for many Brazilian women”. Cásper Líbero gave her a three-month license, as the law rules, but it didn’t help her, once she gave him birth in December, 1st and it was summer vacation. She thinks the college could have given a little bit more time, because the health ministry recommends 6 months of breast-feeding. She changed period, she started studying in the morning, because that would prevent to stay up late with a newborn and the baby’s dad looked for her on the last gestation month offering support. Slowly, their relation got better, but, most of the time, everything stays on the mother’s shoulder. She added “Being a mom is constantly challenging. Our instinct is to always put our baby in first place and do our best to guarantee they are fine” and finished “The most difficult part is the conflict of interests, what I want to do and what the baby needs me to do”, but she emphasizes that he is priority in her life.
As they say “It had to be a girl” to support college’s pressure, family instability, to care, love and carry a baby for 9 months at the same time. It had to be those girls, because they are not ordinary. They have brightness in their eyes when told me their stories, they have strength to be mature and write their own destiny, they have altruism to put their kids in first place and, even going through all of it, just give credits to family and friends that supported them. Three different stories, but three singular girls. Three women with M of mom. Three girls representing so many others that had, are or will go through this experience. What can I say? Their stories speak for themselves. All that I can do is congratulate them (on behalf of many others), for being a mom during 365 days of the year, for being a mom even before their baby had born, for being an inspiration and to still keep their dreams alive, but knowing their biggest dream is at home.