Being physically away from your partner and relying to a screen will be hard, and sometimes painful. However, being in love, may be one of the best feelings in the world. If you have been lucky enough to find someone that makes you feel that way, don´t be too intimidated, embrace it! Even if there are complications beyond your control, such as distance. You just have to find ways to make the best of it. And here are some tips on how to do that – from someone who is finding that out.
communicate about communication
This is the most essential part of any relationship. But we are not talking about just any kind of communication. The first thing to think (and talk) about is: how much time do you need with them to feel close and connected? and how does that look?
For some people, that answer can be a facetime every night, or multiple times a day. For others, that can be overwhelming, so texts and a phone call every other day are enough. Usually, it is a combination of all those options. The important thing is that it has to work both ways.
Once you find that time, commit to it! Those phone calls and facetime are what make your relationship. Talk about your day, your family, your pet, if you saw a funny tik tok, anything. But also talk about your struggles, what are you anxious about, that you´re missing them. When you can’t physically be with your person, talking about what´s difficult for you is the only way to make it better.
Maintain your individuality beyond your relationship
When you are in an LDR, it’s easy to find yourself daydreaming of your partner, wondering what would you be doing if they were with you, or even just waiting for that moment when you are both free to talk. But you can´t live for your relationship, it has to be a part of your life, not your whole life.
So when you are not together, use that time for yourself, for the hobbies you enjoy spending time doing, for those friends that you love being around, for that tv show you want to binge-watch… Surrounding yourself with what brings you joy is key for your own mental health, and to making the distance easier.
Also, encourage your partner to do the same and support them in new hobbies and interests. Remember that personal growth and change are healthy and necessary.
Know that video-chatting is not the only thing you can do together
Sometimes, regular facetime gets dull. And that’s okay, there are just some days you don’t really have anything to talk about, but you still want to spend time together. So here are some ideas of fun things to do, other than talk:
- Binge watch a show together. You could stream your screen in discord or use websites, such as Netflix Party!
- Play online games! It can be cards, questions, truth or dare, or even just answering buzzfeed quizzes
- If you are into cooking, do a cooking date! You could both do the same recipe while facetiming and then eat together
- If you are not really into cooking, try ordering from the same chain restaurant or the same type of food and eat together as well
- Make a playlist together with music that reminds of each other! Besides being fun, you can listen to it later when you are missing your partner.
- Try a new hobbie together. It can be reading, painting, watching a documentary, anything – but try to think of things that you can discuss or just t have that interest in common.
- Make gifts for eachother! It is a good way to channel your energy while you are missing your partner and amazing to give once you see them.
- Plan the next time you are seeing each other in person. When is it going to be, what places can you go once you are together, what are you going to eat.. These kinds of details are just fun and exciting to think about and it also helps for both of you to enjoy the time pisically together to its maximum
Focus on finding positive aspects of a long distance relationship
Most of the time, long distance is not the ideal of fun, or easy – but it is not all bad. Some people find that being geographically apart makes it easier to be 100% present once they are together and work on themselves at the same time. So, don’t focus on the distance, but on why you love your partner and the good parts of a long distance relationship. This way, coping with distance won’t be as hard as you think.