How To Start Your Own Body-Positive Journey?

Jupiter is the biggest planet on the Solar System, one translation of it is equivalent of 11 years and 315 terrestrial days. It is the fourth shiniest object in the sky, the fifth closest to the sun and is very unlikely that life exists there, like it does on Earth. On the other hand, the Earth holds the fourth place when the subject is size, one translation has 365 days, it’s the third planet closest to the Sun and has life. And I guess that right now you should be asking yourself why you are reading about planets.

The Solar System is huge, has eight planets and lots of celestial bodies, every little thing on the universe has its owns peculiarities, in a way that we will never find two planets with the same elements in the same amount. Life on Earth is the same thing. No living creature can be like the other. Everyone has a journey and none of them can be compared.

“I should not compare myself to anyone”, ok, that’s easy to say, but is it easy to do? We live in a society that pressures us to be someone that fits in the “established rules”. As if the external pressure of society on us was not enough, these “rules” are often used by advertisers, always with figures that follow standards that makes us think that only those people can truly be happy. The stores try to sell us things that people on the soap operas uses, but we are not actors or actresses to have their body types or wear what they wear. The marketing is only trying to show some us some defects - which are normal and everyone has it so that they can sell their products.

In a talk with Marcelo da Rocha Carvalho, psychologist and psychotherapist, he told us a little bit about how the social media affects the self-acceptance process: “There is an exhibitionism on the internet where everyone is happy, everyone is better, everyone does fantastic things and this simultaneity of things end up bombing people who have simpler lives stimulating the search for solutions”. These solutions end up on a need of “likes” on the social medias, that are nothing more than the acceptance of the other in a faster and more superficial way and in large quantity. Sometimes, this search for “solutions” end up turning into disorders that can harm a person’s health and make he/she more and more unhappy with their own body.

In an environment like this, how can anyone have self-love?

Image Source: Alexander Krivitskiy​

You can start not blaming yourself for depending on other people. According to Marcelo, humans are born as a dependent being and depends on others to live, eat, etc. In this way we create a relationship of affection in which we want to impress the other one, creating a vulnerability in relation to the image we pass. It’s ok to understand that you depend on others, but you can never forget that you are the only one that will be forever by your side.

He also mentioned Freud's theory that people only mature when they have a 'narcissistic wound'. Which means that the person becomes aware that he is enough, independent of everything and everyone, so that they begin to mature more and more their thoughts and actions. So it’s always important to remember that “when you give preference to your contentment and start to look yourself with more parsimony, balance and compassion, things will be much better than staying depending others”, words from the psychologist.

One advice that we all should consider is to rethink the way we use social media. As previously stated, people usually show only the happy things on social media: the trips, the ideal bodies, the perfect relationship. And it’s ok if you are not like them. Everyone deal with disappointments, everyone's lifes sucks sometimes and when you accept that the things become a little bit lighter. Nothing compares to the feeling of having positive likes and comments about a picture that retracts the reality of our lives and our bodies, than an edited photo that does not resemble reality. Not everyone will like or approve you if you choose to use the internet in your favor, but if that’s good for you just go for it!

Marcelo always consider a important step to the body-positive journey is trying out to study the history of art, because “is something that make us realize that the evolution of beauty is due to very particular circumstances”, according to him. And if you real take the advice you’ll see that he is very correct. The conception of beauty is something that is discussed for a long time by Platão, Socrátes, Kant, and many others philosophers that tried to define this concept. Today we can not say who was right and this is due to the fact that beauty can not be defined, but felt. Beauty surpasses silhouettes, gestures and words. Beauty is simply present in people and there is no need for explanation.

Lean people. Fat people. Bald people. People with long hair. People with a lot of boobs. People with little breast. People without breast. People with scars. People with genetic abnormalities. Short people. Tall people. People. I could write all day long differents particularities from people and I assume that the list would have no end. People are just people.

Jupiter is nothing like Earth and both have their characteristics that stand out, both planets are perfect. When you look at the mirror, just remember that you are a universe under construction that must be respected and treated with much love. Despite all the imperfections, beauty can never leave you. Beauty is in you. Respect your own translations and start trying to love and understand them. The stars will shine brighter from the moment you realize the you emanate your own shine.