When society found itself in a moment of need to have stable arrangements among the population, marriage was created. At first, marriage was just a commercial and reproductive agreement, where the woman, from that moment on, belonged to the man. But in today’s society, weddings, which sometimes happen without any ceremony at all, are seen as a loving ritual and a matter of choice – finally.
The first wedding ceremony on record was not very different from what we see today, with the groom waiting at some sort of altar while his father-in-law leads the bride there. This reunion took place in 2350 BCE (Before the Common Era), in Sumer, Mesopotamia – where today is Southern Iraq.
Even though, in summary, the first recorded marriage is more similar to what today would be a Catholic wedding, it also had aspects of other religions, like the exchange of gifts from Umbanda, the veil on the face of the bride from Judaism, and others.
Although we see more representations of Catholic weddings in movies, series, and soap operas, each religion has its own way of formalizing this commitment.
Jewish Wedding
In the Jewish community, the wedding ceremony happens at the same time as the engagement celebration, because both commitments are considered equally important. The day of the celebrations is compared to Yom Kippur, a jewish holiday where all people are forgiven for their sins, which also happens on the wedding day, when the bride and the groom are also forgiven.
To represent Yom Kippur, each community has its own traditions. For example, in some communities it’s essential that the bride and the groom fast and recite some prayers before the ceremony. In others, the groom must enter the Chuppah, a structure similar to a tent where the couple stays during the celebration, wearing a kind of white robe.
Another custom that varies, is the exchange of rings. In liberal communities, it’s common for the bride to also put a ring on the groom’s finger. “My mother didn’t do that because the Jewish community in Manaus, where we are from, is more traditional. It’s not Orthodox, but it’s more traditional”, comments Isabela Benzecry, an 18 year old and Jewish by birth.
Despite the difference in traditions, it’s certain that both partners must be Jewish – either by birth or by choice – to get married. After the bride and groom are in the Chuppah, they exchange rings, and the officiant, who doesn’t need to be a rabbi (the religious leader of Judaism), reads the Ketubah, their marriage contract. The ceremony ends when the man steps on a glass and the guests shout “Mazel Tov”.
Buddhist Wedding
In Buddhism, there is a pre-wedding ceremony called Nanchang, which is also the name of the capital city of Jiangxi Province in southeastern China. The event happens at the bride’s family home to celebrate the couple’s engagement. Guests are expected to bring a tsang – a typical drink -, various types of meat, and a chicken for the bride’s mother as a way to thank her for caring for the daughter.
After this celebration, the preparations for the official ceremony begin, starting with the attire: both the bride and groom usually wear a bhaku, with the bride’s resembling a dress and the groom’s a robe. The color of the outfits is chosen by the family and usually features warm colors like gold and red.
The decoration, full of Buddhist symbols, follows what the culture values most: bright colors and flowers, usually a lotus flower. To complete the ceremony, there is a meditation where the couple lights candles around the Buddha in front of them and recites their vows.
Umbandist Wedding
Before the ceremony happens, a preparation for the Orixás is necessary. Orixá represents a divinity or divine energy present in religions of African origin, such as Umbanda; for example: Caboclo, Preto-Velho, Ogum, Oxum, etc. The orixás are also chosen as godparents, alongside with the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. The preparation for the entity consists of food dishes used as offerings to the orixás, so that they, in return, bless the couple.
After the offering, the bride and groom go through a tunnel formed by mediums who each hold a São Jorge sword and walk towards the mentor who will be officiating the wedding. The mentor is usually the mãe or pai de santo (in English, mother or father of Saint), the spiritual leader of the house. When they reach the end of the tunnel, the leader places a white candle on the couple’s heads, and then they exchange gifts with each other.
The clothing is the opposite of what is seen in a Catholic wedding, with all the guests dressed in white and the couple usually in the colors of the orixás chosen as godparents. For example: Oxum is represented by yellow.
“I’ve been to an umbanda wedding at the beach, which is the same thing but much more beautiful, because the bride goes to the sea and asks for Iemanjá’s blessing, the orixá who represents maternal strength and is called queen of the sea”, says Alessandra La Ferrera, who attends an Umbanda center.
Spiritist Wedding
In Spiritism, there is no specific wedding template, ritual, or ceremony, not according to the religion, but there is also no prohibition to celebrate the reunion. The religion sees marriage as a celebration, so it’s common for each person to do it in their own way, and it often happens together with the civil ceremony.
The wedding doesn’t take place at the spiritist center, so if the couple decides to have a wedding, it usually happens in a party hall or another place. Even though there’s no ritual, the master of ceremonies is usually the representative or president of the center, but there’s no set script of what to say.
“The part about the speech is really speaking from the heart, whatever each one wants, both the master of ceremonies and the couple. For example, in my wedding, I recited a poem”, explains Marina Moino, who has been attending a spiritist center since she was a teenager.
Hindu Wedding
The Hindu wedding is called Shubh Vivah, a ceremony that can last just a few hours or 7 full days of celebrations and rituals. The duration depends a lot on the caste of the couple, which is the social class inherited by birth, so if the couple is from a lower caste they probably won’t be able to afford all the days of the marriage. But one thing doesn’t change, regardless of caste: the clothing. The bride wears a red dress, because white means absence of life, and the groom wears a tunic called sherwani.
The first part of the wedding is called Haldi, which is also the name of the turmeric paste used in this ritual, where family and friends apply on the bride and groom’s skin and hair as an act of purification. After Haldi, there’s Sangeet, a time when both families come together to dance, with traditional Indian music, and celebrate the upcoming union with joy.
It’s customary for the bride to paint her hands and feet with henna. There’s a party for that too. Mehendi is when the bride gathers her close friends, aiming to beautify herself before the wedding.
The ceremony where the “yes” is said and the union is official happens at a place called Mandap, decorated with flowers, fabrics, and even crystals.
At the end of the ceremony, the Jai Mala takes place. It is not considered that the union is completed until this happens. This is when the newlyweds exchange flower garlands to symbolize welcoming each other into their respective families.
To finally complete all the rituals, after the Jai Mala is the Talambralu, where the groom throws a mixture of rice, turmeric, saffron, and flower petals, which results in a red powder, on the bride’s hairline.
Islamic Wedding
“In Islam, dating someone is already like getting engaged, because there is what we call ‘permitted dating’, which is an engagement where we need to introduce the suitor to our parents so the meetings are allowed. Of course, always with supervision. It usually lasts about a year”, says Rayane Kchour, who came from a muslim family and follows the traditions.
The Mangni is the ceremony where the bride and groom exchange the wedding rings. It’s the public declaration of the engagement. The wedding proceeds until the Nikah happens, the main ritual where the couple listens to a Sermon from the Qur’an read by the Sheik, the religious leader of Islam. The Sheik registrastes the wedding and formalizes the union, which is signed a document by the groom and two witnesses.
After that, the bride, who was always wearing her dress and hijab, goes to a separate room and removes her hijab so that the groom can meet his bride without the veil. It’s a very beautiful moment for them to really get to know each other, since until then she wasn’t allowed to take the hijab off.
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The article above was edited by Isabela Theodoro.
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