One thing all college students share is the experience of trying to build who you are in that new space you’re stepping into. Imagine this: you’ve spent years dreaming of a house, working towards it, and now it’s finally built. The foundation is solid, the walls are up—but when you step inside, everything is blank. The walls are white, the rooms are empty, no pictures, no furniture, no memories.
In the Brazilian context, we grow up answering the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” from preschool onward. Through all the years of high school, we lay the foundation by preparing for exams. College, then, feels like stepping into that house we’ve been building. But once inside, we realize that dreaming about it and actually living in it are two different things. The structure is there, but the space is unfamiliar—waiting for us to fill it with our experiences. To better understand how this process unfolds, I interviewed students from Cásper Líbero.
LET’S PUT IT OUT THERE: IT’S AN ONGOING PROCESS
Maria Eduarda Xavier, a freshman Public Relations student, gives us a great starting point. Having transferred from Psychology halfway through the semester, she believes building a sense of self is an ongoing journey. “We figure things out as we go, through trial and error. I left a major I loved, something I was passionate about. Stepping into PR meant stepping out of my comfort zone—and honestly, I still wonder if I made the right choice.”
Having doubts was also part of Mariana Garcia’s experience. Now a sophomore in Journalism, she shared that, in the beginning, not being completely sure about her major made it even harder to adapt and feel like she was making progress compared to her friends. “It wasn’t until this year, [when] I was talking to one of my friends and she said something that completely changed my perspective. I stopped putting so much pressure on myself about something that is so new and not set in stone”. Once Mariana understood that, she finally started to develop a love for her major, reconnecting with the reasons which first drew her to journalism.
For Fabiola Pujol, learning to take the pressure off was one of the biggest shifts since her first semester. She realized that stressing out over everything wasn’t always helpful. Instead, she started approaching things with more ease—taking a deep breath, focusing on doing her best, but without losing her peace in the process. And that made all the difference. “Once you learn that, things start falling into place naturally, opening new doors and bringing even more growth.”
FRIENDS… HOW DO WE EVEN MAKE THose?
What Mariana brought up is a crucial part of the college experience. We need people to share our thoughts and experiences with. Feeling understood—and realizing that no one around you has it all figured out, even if it seems like they do—makes all the difference. But with 50, sometimes 60+ unknown faces in a room, where do we even start? Gabriela Belchior admits that, even as an extrovert, coming into a communication school, she often felt like she was the least extroverted one.
When it comes to making friends, two things are common ground for all of them. First, it takes time. In the first semester, you meet a lot of people, but over time, you start realizing that you have different interests, different lifestyles. Some friendships stick, others don’t, and that’s simply part of the process.
Second, everyone agrees: being part of a student collective makes a huge difference. Gabriela believes that “when you share a common interest with someone, it creates a natural bond—whether it’s through faith, a shared goal of networking and building a portfolio, or a sport you love. That’s what collectives are for: feeling that you belong somewhere and meeting new people with similar interests.”.
As part of Her Campus, Fabiola found a place where she dove in: “I learned so much, asked questions, and was 100% me.” Mariana joined a small group where people share the same faith: “I made incredible friendships with people I never would have met if it weren’t for a shared passion.”
The college experience isn’t just about academic or professional growth, and there’s so many possibilities to explore. Maria Eduarda sees that, in college, far more than in high school, you have the freedom to choose who you want to be. And while that can be a good thing, Gabriela believes that’s why having a sense of who you are before college is so important. “Knowing who you truly are becomes the foundation for building yourself in this new space. If you go in without knowing yourself, the environment ends up shaping you.”
Whether it’s through friendships, student collectives, or embracing and reframing your uncertainties, building a sense of self takes time. But don’t worry! That’s a good thing. It means that we, as human beings, are multi-layered, which also means it may get hard—but never boring. With every new space you step into, there’s always something new to discover about yourself. What we need is community, patience, and the ability to take it easy while staying true to who we truly are.
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The article above was edited by Marina di Bernardo Babichak.
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