Hello, dear reader! You have no idea about my suffering during this last week. I tried to decode a question that all of us need the answer, and that is always treated generically in blogs and websites around the world: self-esteem. Good or bad, it is part of us, and at the same time its oscillations are unleashed by a range of situations that can or not be directly connected to our self-image — which is not the same thing. Those are concepts that can be confused, but I tried to bring you some resolutions and practical types to help you on your journey, so let’s check it out!
What is self-esteem?
It is not self-image. It is not self-confidence. At the same time, the line between all of this is too short. Self-esteem is about your identity, your self-respect and the proud of being who you are. Talking to the professional Daniella Bomfim, psychologist postgraduate in Health Psychology at Hospital of Clinics, high self-esteem or low moments are common and to go through a difficult time does not necessarily mean that you should worry about it. Quite the opposite; she said, “It is necessary that people value their feelings, good or bad. If you didn’t wake up great at one day, all right: accepting what is negative or knowing the limitations you have at that time is very important to improve your self-esteem”. However, Bomfim also advises: “If this starts bringing damages to your life, or keeping you away from doing your everyday things [like seeing your friends or going to work], it’s time to seek professional help.”
Appearance or happiness are connected to self-esteem?
Not necessarily. Despite being attached, one factor does not determine the other. Daniella Bomfim says: “Having a good self-esteem doesn’t mean you never get sad, or don’t have bad or hard times. Having a good self-esteem does not mean you feeling yourself one hundred percent beautiful all the time. What really impacts is whether or not you feel comfortable with your appearance, or if you know how to deal with everyday situations, harder or easier”. So do not be swayed by closed concepts. You define the influences or not in your self-esteem, even if unconsciously. Many things may seem simple to some people, and not for you. However, be calm: self-esteem is too particular to be defined.
How does the media influence this process?
The construction of identity is a process that is given with each other. It is an exchange. As Michel Foucault already said in Self Writing, people construct their identities in their relations with others. In addition, this happens not only with those who are close to us but also to the people that the media puts as representative or important. A point discussed by Bomfim is that the media also says that to have moments of weakness, of ups and downs, tears or things like that can’t be understood and sense, but needs to be avoided. “People don’t need to be good all the time,” said Daniella during the interview.
Is there a formula to have a high self-esteem?
Every human being is a universe – and inside your universe, there are things that you can handle, and things that you will probably need help to deal with. Because of that, there is not a self-esteem formula. I could tell you to sing, to make sports, but would you really like it? What really matter is your opinion! What makes you feel good? What songs do you love to listen? Would you write, drive or take a shower to make your day better, or maybe your thing is eat a lot of chocolate? Who decide this is you! Therefore, try to look to yourself and to your qualities, what do you like the most to do. Inside you, there are all the answers for you to transform your daily routine. Fell your feelings with proud, and remember that all of them are part of you. But don’t forget: if they really start to bring damages to your life, look for medical help. And never forget to love yourself!
We talked to four casperians about the theme, check out their answers:
The Casperian Khaila Garcia (Journalism, 1st year) told us that what she loves the most to do when she’s in a mad mood is dance contemporary jazz and listen music’s – her favorite at the moment is Viva La Vida, that always make her feel better.
When I asked the Casperian Julia Noleto (Radio, Television & Internet, 1st year), she said that watch How I Met Your Mother and play tennis makes she put things up. To her, what really matter is distract herself in bad moments.
Giovanna Nicoleto, the journalist’s freshman, said that read biblical vesicles and listen louvers is the most important thing on her days, and that’s what she does when she isn’t pretty good. “When I don’t have this time with God, It feels like my day is incomplete”.
In Bruna Araújo opinion (Journalism, 3rd year), talk to who makes you feel better or try to deconstruct yourself is the most important thing, because a lot of common problems come with the social impositions. Particularly, when she is bad, drawing things or hanging out with her friends always help her.
I hope you enjoyed the post! Comment here your thoughts about the theme!
Photos by Larissa Bomfim (Journalism, 1st year)