For many people, spending time alone is associated with boredom, loneliness, or even the feeling of being unwanted. From childhood, social interaction is often encouraged as a source of comfort, security, and entertainment, while solitude can be perceived as something negative. As people grow older, however, being alone can take on a different meaning.
Activities that may seem unpleasant during childhood can become moments of relaxation and self-care in adulthood. Going to bed, taking a shower, reading a book, or simply spending time in a quiet environment can become opportunities to slow down and disconnect from the demands of everyday life. The same can happen with solitude: what was once seen as loneliness can become an important part of personal well-being.
Sometimes, being alone can be all that you need
Learning to appreciate one’s own company can also contribute to a better understanding of personal needs, emotions, and boundaries. According to psychologist Kedla Praia, developing this relationship with oneself is closely connected to self-awareness and self-love.
“It is important because it means that I like myself, that I know how to listen to myself, regulate my emotions, respect my boundaries, and talk to myself in the same way I would talk to a best friend. Appreciating your own company is about self-awareness and self-love.”
psychologist Kedla Praia
Spending time alone, therefore, does not necessarily mean being isolated from others. Instead, solitude can coexist with healthy relationships and social interaction. Moments of solitude may provide space to organize thoughts, recognize emotions, and identify personal interests without the influence or expectations of other people.
The aversion to loneliness is unconsciously taught during childhood
The difficulty of being alone can also be connected to experiences during childhood. Praia explains that parents who take responsibility for most of their children’s activities may unintentionally limit opportunities for independence.
“This belief can develop through childhood experiences. For example, parents may take care of most of their child’s activities and responsibilities because they believe the child will not be able to handle them due to being too young or not knowing how to do things properly. By doing so, they do not allow the child to try, make mistakes, and eventually learn.”
According to the psychologist, these experiences can contribute to a sense of incapability and a perceived need for others, which may eventually lead to emotional dependence.
However, beliefs developed during childhood do not necessarily need to remain throughout adulthood. As people encounter new experiences, they can reconsider the way they relate to themselves and to solitude. Learning to do activities independently, such as going to the movies, having coffee alone, reading, or simply spending time at home, can be a way of developing greater autonomy.
Enjoying solitude can make you know yourself better
More than simply being physically alone, enjoying one’s own company involves becoming comfortable with one’s thoughts, emotions, and individuality. In this sense, solitude does not have to represent the absence of others. It can also represent an opportunity to strengthen the relationship with yourself.
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The article above was edited by Maitê Olyntho.
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