Oh, high school: the experimental time of the firsts, whether it was your first beer, first kiss, first party or first C in math class. Whatever the case, as much as you try to suppress these cringe-worthy trials and tribulations from your memory, they just happen to be the most vivid stories that you’ll never forget from those vulnerable teenage years. A wise friend once told me; sometimes you just have to make a fool of yourself so that people will stop taking life so seriously. So, I thought I would visit the ghosts of my past for the sake of laughs, and to prove to all collegiettes why your university years may just be the real best times of your lives.
“I remember my first beer…”
Actually, it was vodka – out of a water bottle that I genuinely thought was H2O. Did I mention I was dehydrated? My (evil) friend let me take a swig of her water to quench my thirst, so I chugged that bad boy down and only felt the burning sensation of the alcohol going down my throat when it reached the inner pits of my stomach. Just to provide context – I was at Saunder’s Farm innocently enjoying the Haunted Hayride. After scolding my friend in disbelief (who happened to be in tears of laughter), I stood up to get off the hayride. The problem? I couldn’t stay up. Needless to say, we were kicked out at the ripe hour of 10 p.m. The next morning was also the first time I discovered the utter joys of a hangover.
“The daily unintentional wardrobe malfunction”
At the beginning of high school, in those dark, desperate days in search of your true identity, you tend to go through ‘phases’. Whether your entire wardrobe consisted of hoarded band tees from Hot Topic, you only wore Adidas tracksuits, or everything you owned had to have Hello Kitty on it, it’s a phase. The worst one I could have gone through was the ‘scene [ster]’ look, which I will blame on MySpace. I truly believed I could cut my hair to emulate those MySpace ‘scene’ chicks (see picture below), and so I ended up with a bowl-cut mullet. Topped off with mismatched clothing and a bit too much eyeliner, I practically reeked of pretentious teenage angst and misunderstanding. I feel at this point it’s necessary to go all out and mention I sported (sometimes multicolored) braces for my entire high school existence. Okay okay, now I know why I never had a boyfriend in high school.
“ Dances: The Art of Grinding”
High school dances were really just an excuse to apply all the techniques you mastered from various “How To Kiss” YouTube videos while learning the abstract art of grinding. Seriously, why couldn’t these dances have Latin dancing like the salsa or the waltz, instead? And no, DJ Casper’s Cha Cha Slide does not count – take it back now y’all. Fun fact: my school dances were so notorious for suspending belligerent kids for disorderly conduct or throwing up in the principal’s office that in my final year the school invested in breathalyzer tests. (Suffice to say no one attended them after that.)
“Welcome to the real world”
The list goes on my friends. Forget the petty drama, the superficial cliques, and those damn beep tests in gym class. Congratulations, you’re in University! One great fortune to remember is that through all your missteps in high school, it has led you here to university, a wonderful accomplishment that deserves a standing ovation. Welcome, Class of 2017 and all other new students to Carleton from the HerCampus team! This is your time to create real, amazing memories that you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives, and even if some are a little unfortunate, always remember: nothing can surpass the embarrassing, poor life choices made in high school.
What was one of your most hilariously unfortunate memories from high school? Share below!
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Pic sources:
http://www.saq.com/page/en/saqcom/vodka/smirnoff-triple-distillation/240
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/s…
http://www.zimbio.com/screamo+…