With Women’s History Month upon us I think something we could all do is give ourselves a little bit of encouragement. I think as women we can beat ourselves up pretty hard, especially for things that we’ve done in the past. Maybe it’s something we said, or a choice we made, but we’re all human! We could all use a little word from the wise (or from the older in this case) and that’s exactly what our Her Campus Carleton execs are here to do. So what advice or encouragement would you give to your younger self?
Gabriella Rodrigues: President
Little Gabby suffered a lot of bullying throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school. She was always just a little different- a little too smart for her own good, a girl who advanced beyond everyone else. A try-hard, too flat for her age, not enough friends, too-big glasses, gay. Somebody always found something to pick on her for. What I realize now is that I should have been proud of my intelligence, of my sexuality, of my body. She never saw anyone from elementary school or high school ever again anyways. I would tell her not to worry about what others think, and to focus on flourishing and growing.
Harkiren Sandhu: vice president
My younger self was shy, constantly anxious, and did not want to stick out of the crowd. Here are two key points that I would tell my past self: first, don’t be afraid to embrace your South Asian culture. I still remember that little girl who felt embarrassed wearing her henna to school, afraid of what her peers will say about her henna. One day you will realize how rich your culture is and how grateful you will feel being South Asian. Also, don’t take things too seriously! This is something you’re still working on, but you don’t need to have everything figured out right now, enjoy and celebrate the small moments.
Elizabeth Mason: Editor in Chief
Like many others, I tend to look back on my past self and cringe a little bit, especially on middle/highschool Elizabeth. I think she could use a little grace however. She was somebody who worried far too much about what was going to happen in the future, who she would be friends with, and how people would perceive her. It took me a really long time to realize that, I actually don’t need to think that far ahead, and whatever happens, all that matters is that I remain true to myself and stay healthy and happy. Even though I had heard that it was true all my life, it took until the middle of second-year university to truly believe that God has my future in his hands, and I don’t need to worry about the outcome. So Elizabeth, I would tell you to trust in God, because what he has in store for you is better than you could ever imagine, and you will be surrounded with more love and happiness then you could ever ask for. It’s going to be okay! In fact, it’s going to be so wonderful.
Hailey David: Equity, Diversity and Inclusion Director
My younger self was a dreamer, as I would dress up after school, run upstairs, put on a tutu, tiara, and fairy wings, and run around the house. I would write short stories, and create like no other. I always dreamed about my life in the future, and now that I am here, this is what I would like to tell her.
Life is a journey, you will go through ups and downs, but that is what makes you stronger. But no matter what, keep being who you are, because that is what makes you special, and others will come into your life and appreciate it so much more.
You are a talented and strong human being who is reaching her goals no matter what comes. Always remember, that you are wonderful, and there are people cheering and rooting for you in every corner. But most importantly, don’t dim your light for anyone, because that is the most special thing you have, that makes you, you.
I have so much love for you, as I continue to dream for you, forever and always.
Kaitlin Gruehl: Secretary
When I think of my past self, I remember a lot of stress. No matter what situation I think of, I remember feeling fear regarding what I would do next or what would happen next. I remember mostly not wanting to be in anyone’s way, not wanting to bother anyone. When I think about this now, it hits me with a bit of hurt, not in a self-pity way, but hurt for that younger girl. What I know now, and what I would love to tell her, is that you and everyone else get to do this all one time. There are no rules, and it is actually kind of unserious if you think about it. I would also really hammer in the fact that the odds of having life, being alive, being here, are so low; if you’re going to waste it in your head, it’s just a disservice.
Georgia Looman: Associate Editor
Where do I even start? The first thing I would say is nothing is that deep. No one is constantly looking at you and judging you, so loosen up and actually have fun. Stop living life for other people. That fight since middle school for male validation is quickly going to get exhausting and you need to find what actually brings you happiness. Cherish your friends and the fact you have money to spend. You’re going to end up right where you need to be in university and in a program that you learn to love, so relax. Don’t promise people you’ll be in their lives forever because people change, and that’s okay. Above all, I’m proud of my younger self and what she accomplished, and I can’t fault her for trying her best with the circumstances she was given.
Clarisa Gonzalez: Social Media Director
Little Clarisa was always worried and anxious about how people perceived her. No more of that! As a woman in my early 20’s I’m learning to live as authentically as possible. Decentering men and focusing on my passions is something I take very seriously. I would tell my younger self that she should speak up and take up space. Be yourself and do what makes you happy because no one is thinking about you more than yourself. You are capable of so much and you need to believe in yourself before anyone else can. The older me is proud of younger me and how far she’s come in life. It’s not what she expected but I now have the confidence and trust in myself to say it will all work out!
Leolla Del Villano: Event Director
When I was younger, I struggled a lot with envy. I was always wondering, “why is it so much easier for them?”. I felt like everyone was so far ahead and had a better chance than I did in areas like sports, as they had more natural talent, were taller and stronger, attended sports camps and paid teams; in work, with their parents owning a business or family profession that they could take over or learn from; in school, with many of my peers having resources, like iPads, computers, and older siblings or tutors. Young me would often try and overcompensate to try and make up for this. I’d take on extra shifts at work, spend hours working on extracurricular activities for the clubs, teams, and councils I was on, spend hours studying instead of sleeping, and stress about my future. I’d tell little Leolla that it would all be worth it–but I didn’t have to do it alone.
My best year in highschool was my last one. I became humble enough to ask for my coach’s help if I struggled to receive a serve in volleyball, and became a better captain from that. I asked my teachers for flexibility in deadlines I was worried about, and realized that they didn’t think this meant I was slacking–they understood me, and were there to help; So were my bosses, my friends, my family, and my community. I’d tell younger me that it’s okay to lean on the people around you because they can’t be your support system until you let them, and once you receive that support, you’ll be able to give yourself the grace you need to become the best version of yourself.
Danie Maxelus: Marketing Manager
When I think of my younger self, I think of years spent holed up in my room, lost in books, always in my head, worrying and stressing over things that didn’t matter as much as I thought they did. I took on more pressure than I should have, gave up on things before I even started because I didn’t think I was good enough, and never really let myself live.
If I could go back, I’d tell myself to really think about what I want—not what others expect, not what I think will make people like me—but what truly makes me happy. I’d say: Don’t make choices to please others. Go out, make friends, join clubs, take up space. This is your last year to be a kid, your last year of high school—don’t let it slip away. Start that YouTube channel you always dreamed of. Don’t waste energy worrying about your weight or feeling like a social outcast. And don’t let fear of judgment or bullying hold you back—everyone is too caught up in their own struggles to focus on yours.
And most importantly, never be ashamed of what you love. Reading is such a core part of who I am now, but back then, I felt weird about always being lost in a book. The truth is, there’s a whole world out there filled with people who share your passions—you just have to put yourself out there and find them. There were so many clubs, activities, and opportunities I missed because I was too scared to start.
So if I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: Live for yourself. You are capable of so much more than you think.
Lynn Robchinsky: Social Media Executive
Slow down! When I was younger, all I ever wanted to do was grow up. I remember daydreaming about what my future life would look like: what career I’d pursue, what city I’d end up in, and what kinds of people I’d meet. But in daydreaming, I would also miss out on some of the precious moments before me. Having finally reached the age I would dream of, I realize just how quickly it took to get here, and how silly I was for thinking I needed to hurry. If I met my younger self, I would hug her and tell her to take her time. There is beauty in the slow moments, it just requires you to pause every now and then to find it.
Natalie Barcewicz: Events Team Member
When I first saw the question, I was actually pretty stumped. What Would I say to my younger self? But after some reflection, the answer came easily. I would tell little me that things do work out, and life is not as bleak as some people make it out to be. You can achieve what your heart desires, and the right amount of work will put you right where you want! No matter where you are, look for people to seek comfort in, but also please learn to seek comfort in yourself. That being said, there are people out there for you, it won’t always be lonely. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, I would tell my younger self to find other methods of validation that are not academic, because to this day, I am still working on not placing all of my worth on a number.
Symah Mbaga: Events Team
When thinking about what I would say to my youngster, my first thought is where in the world do I begin? There is so much that I would like to tell her.
But if I had to choose one thing I would tell her to always be herself and to never dim her light. It’s human nature to want to fit in and find your people and that could sometimes lead to you trying to change yourself so you could fit in with everyone else.
I would tell my younger self that even when it is hard to not fade into the background, stay true to herself and not dim the light that she holds. Since when you stay true to yourself you will find your people.
Thanks so much for reading all our messages to our younger selves, we want to leave you with the same question. What would you say?