In a blink of an eye, four years of university have come to an end. Moving alone to Canada for quality education was a big step towards a better future. It definitely did not go as I expected, but you come to learn that nothing ever does — and that’s not a bad thing.
These four years of my life have been my best and worst for all the right reasons. I will leave Carleton as a stronger woman, confident and wise, ready to find my own way in life. I did not start that way, that’s for sure. I got to where I am because of the people I met, the experiences I had, and the problems I tackled. Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today. These lessons will always be a part of me.
Her Campus was one of those unexpected outcomes, one I am glad to have been a part of for three years. So as a parting gift, I thought I would share some of the lessons and advice I received during my four years at Carleton.
1 . Surround yourself with the right people
In university, we meet a lot of people –– some you learn from and some you teach. We don’t always get to pick and choose the people we surround ourselves with, but the thing is, everyone has something to offer, though it might not always be what you need.
Someone wise once said, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.” It took experience to understand this one, and over the last two years I realized how much I have gained from putting myself in situations where I wasn’t the smartest. It is not the most comfortable situation to be in, but you will leave that conversation knowing more than when you started. There is value in that.
People have much to teach you, but only if we learn to put away our egos and listen. It’s a lot harder than it sounds.
2. Follow your heart… the voice will never go away
Probably one of the hardest lessons I learned was this one. When I was young, I was always told I lead with my heart, but unfortunately for me, they meant it as a bad thing –– as though it was a weakness. It took me a long time to learn that I needed to accept my heart’s desires to find my happiness. I really wish I was told this earlier because the choices I made in life would have looked a lot different.
During a conversation with one of my internship supervisors, she told me the voice in my head telling me to do that one thing will never die out. The dreams you neglect will only wait to one day be acknowledged. So, listen to your heart. It’s the truest version of yourself. Whatever it has to say, it is worth listening to.
3. Don’t invalidate your feelings
It is often easy to undermine or invalidate your troubles and feelings when you see another person suffering through something far worse. We all have different limits, which doesn’t make us weak or less capable. It means we are all growing at our own pace. Just because my friend can take on three jobs and do full-time school doesn’t mean I should be able to. And it doesn’t mean what I am feeling is unreasonable or overexaggerated, because I know it feels that way.
I even told my counsellor: “I feel like I am complaining with so little to do when people are taking on so much more.” She replied: “It doesn’t take away the fact that you are feeling what you’re feeling. If the little things are stressing you, it’s still stressing you.”
Seeing others do more and not suffer doesn’t change what you’re feeling. So don’t invalidate your emotions, needs, and problems, because it’s not comparable to others. They are not you.
4. You’re not alone
If I could only stress this enough! You enter university and everyone seems so put together. They look like they have their lives figured out — ’til you speak to some and realize they don’t have a clue either.
You will meet people who are in the process of finding themselves and others who are not ready just yet. Both are okay. These past four years of school taught me that you don’t have to have it all figured out. Throughout your early and maybe even your late twenties, you will continue to learn about yourself and evolve, and everyone goes through it. So, if you feel lost and clueless, just remember there are a few hundred thousand who feel the same exact way.
5. Enjoy your early twenties. It’s okay.
I spent so much of my university years stressed about whether I was going to make it. If I will make it in life, if I will make it out of school, if I will make my parents proud. All that only to realize we will all make it, one way or another. You will figure it all out if you are determined to do so. But all the worries and “what’s the next step” thinking prevented me from enjoying the little moments.
Now in my fourth year, I am realizing I will soon be working full time and won’t have the same seasonal breaks as I used to. It’s all work from here on out. I was too focused on getting to the work part that I realized the little time I had to myself to stay young.
So don’t do that. It’s okay! Go to that party, go to the concert you’ve been dying to see. Do this responsibly but enjoy it. You will have time to do these things when you’re older too, but different things are important at different ages. Enjoy them when it feels right.
I still have much to learn, and the next few years of my life have much to teach me. But with an important phase of my life coming to an end, it only felt right that I end it by giving something back to those who could use these words. I hope they give you a little perspective and comfort when everything feels overwhelming in university.