I often wonder how different my life would be if my younger self knew what I know now. I think about her a lot. I remember how she saw the world around her, especially herself. I remember what troubled her and the things she questioned. I remember her thoughts and her feelings. I remember it all and wish my present self could have been there.
While I’m not old or wise, I wish I could give her the advice she needed. What would I say to her if she stood before me right now? What words would comfort, reassure, and help her? How could I sum everything up in one piece of advice?
It was a warm Thursday afternoon in Lansdowne Park when I asked strangers the same thing I often ask myself. What would you say to your younger self?
Michelle was watching over her kids in the playground as she lightly laughed at the question. At 47 years old, she would tell her teenage self not to sweat it. “You’ll be an adult most of your life, so whatever is going on now, if it’s hard or easy, just don’t sweat it; enjoy it,” Michelle said. She found comfort in the fact that the bad things would be over soon and that it was important to ride it out.
Robert was reading on a bench when he shared his advice to play more sports. “I just think physical fitness throughout your entire life is really important,” the 45-year-old man said. Robert thought it was crucial for your health and socially beneficial.
Jenny turned to her friend as she slowly breathed out and said, “The question is a lot.” The 37-year-old woman’s advice for her younger self would be to “Travel as much as you can.” Especially when you don’t have a house, kids, or a marriage.
She later added another piece of advice.
“Let yourself make more mistakes in that process. It’s okay to look back on something that didn’t go well and learn from it.”
Jenny, 2023
A couple of 17-year-old girls sat on a picnic table as they wondered what they would say. “Don’t worry about growing up because what is meant to happen will happen anyway,” Rebecca stated. The second girl shared her thoughts, saying, “Never be ashamed of who you really are.”
Shane was beside the playground with his kids as he thought over the question. At 40 years old, he would encourage his younger self to try as many different things as possible, even if they were scary or hard. “Stop thinking about what other people, whether that’s adults or the contemporaries, would think of you,” he added.
“Every single day, try to grow and forgive yourself.”
Shane, 2023
After talking to them, I was amazed to find myself relating to what they had to say. I wish the younger me could hear their advice, and I found it was important to listen to it now as well.
In the end, I reached a conclusion. If the younger me were standing before me now, I would tell her to take one day at a time. The uncomfortable, terrifying, lonely, and unhappy feelings won’t last forever. Mistakes and other people’s opinions don’t define who you are. Everything will pass, and eventually, everything will be okay.
It was lovely to hear what other people had to share. It’s comforting to know that even if everyone has a different story behind who they are now, somehow, you can relate to someone you’ve never met. It shows that we’re not alone. We’re not the only ones going through something. I find it reassuring that if somebody else got through it and survived, I can do it, too. And so can you.