Almost every curly girl’s been through it.
You’re in elementary school and your mom is brushing your hair as she always does right after a shower. All seems perfectly good and well… until the brush hits a snag.
And then comes the tugging. The frustrated grunts. The grimaces of pain as your hair starts to resist the commanding force of the bristles. You clench your jaw as a single persistent thought rings through your mind.
“I wish I had straight hair.”
It follows you into your teenage years as you look at the girls around you, whose hair falls so effortlessly around their shoulders that you start to straighten your hair every day in a desperate bid to mimic it.
“I wish I had straight hair.”
It follows you into your adulthood as you see countless movies, countless ads and posters, countless depictions of what is considered “sleek” and “professional”.
“I wish I had straight hair.”
And then one evening, your straight-haired friend looks over at you as you get ready for a night out together and her eyes roam over your ringlets with starstruck awe as she says:
“I wish I had curly hair.”
And maybe, just maybe, that moment is the first of many where you start to look back at your curls in the mirror with a small note of pride instead of shame.
The thing about curly hair is that many people think of it as “wild” and “unkempt”, but it’s actually much more precious than you might think. It requires much more attention than the average person would ever need to give, and needs to be cared for as delicately as a flower — and when cared for properly, your curls will bloom.
Embracing your curls comes with a lot of steps and a lot of work, but when done the right way, it pays off in droves. But where do you start? How can you ever begin to repair the damage from all the straightening, the blow drying, the chemical treatments, and hair dyeing? Most importantly, what can you possibly do about all the pesky frizz??
Don’t worry. There are plenty of solutions out there, and if you’re already starting to look them up, you’re on the right track. You may think it’s just about the products you use, but there’s much more to it than that.
That’s right. You’re going to need a whole lifestyle change.
This might sound intimidating to a regular person, but to us curly girls? We’ve been to hair hell and back. So let’s get cracking.
First Thing’s First
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of the products, you should first start by unlearning and rewiring some long-held habits of yours. If you are serious about embracing your curls and bringing them to their shiniest, healthiest potential, you will need to make some major changes.
This means no more tearing your strands with harsh brushes, no more frizzing up your hair with abrasive cotton pillowcases and towels, and no more frequent straightening or chemical treatments of any kind.
Instead, switch out the brush with a wide-tooth comb (only to be used in the shower), replace your cotton pillowcase with a silk or satin one, and opt for a microfibre towel for your hair — your frizz will lessen significantly.
Using heat on your hair can also be damaging, but if you keep it to a minimum then you might get away with a cheat day or two (just bear in mind that your curls will need time to recover). Same goes for chemical treatments, which need their own specific kind of care.
Now let’s get into the products.
Most curly hair routines typically have three steps: prepping, styling, and finishing. Let’s break them down.
Prepping
This is the foundation of your whole routine and consists of your shampoo, your conditioner, and your hair mask. The first thing you should know is that, unless your hair is extremely thin and/or oily, washing your hair daily does you an extreme disservice. To avoid drying it out, try washing your hair every 3-5 days instead.
Now, when it comes to cleansing, the most important thing to do is discontinue using sulphate shampoos. If you want to get rid of dryness and frizz, this is extremely important and will absolutely transform your hair — this even led to many straight and wavy-haired women discovering their hair was curlier than they thought!
There are plenty of sulphate-free options along with lots of clarifiers and co-washes that will be much gentler on your hair. There will be a transition period of about two weeks in which your scalp will overproduce oils as a result of its acclimation to harsh sulphate cleansers, but once it’s fully adjusted you will see a miraculous difference.
As for conditioners, discontinuing use of silicones is also an important step. The most popular silicone you’ll usually find in a conditioner is ‘dimethicone’, but typically any ingredient ending in ‘cone’ will count as a silicone. These cause tons of build-up on your hair and will weigh down your texture immensely. They’ll even shorten the duration of hair dye treatments because the colour sticks to the coating instead of your actual hair!
Silicone-free conditioners are a great replacement while still providing you with wonderful slip so you can gently detangle your hair with a wide-tooth comb or even your fingers.
Masks are similar to conditioners, but they will pack a lot more punch. Depending on your hair type and its needs, you can deliver a lot more moisture or a lot more protein — sometimes even both!
You can learn what you need by trying the Strand Test in the shower. All you need to do is gently tug a single strand between your fingers. A healthy strand should stretch outwards and back like an elastic band. However, if it snaps almost instantly, you need more moisture. If it stretches without stretching back, you need more protein — if you’re recovering from heat styling or chemical dyeing, you will definitely need this.
Masks in general should always be applied once a week and sit in your hair for approximately 10-20 minute intervals. Once you commit to this, your hair-fall will decrease significantly and leave you with strong, healthy hair!
Styling
This is a big one and has a vast array of products under its umbrella, plenty of which you can even layer over one another. These products include mousses, creams, pomades, gels, and many, many more. It’s a lot but you can consider this the magic potion in your little curly witch cauldron, because these are the products that will tame your frizz and keep your curls defined for three, four, or even five whole days!
Every product will give you varying results depending on your hair type. If your hair is fine, lighter products like mousses and gels will work best for you so you can still maintain some volume without getting too weighed down. If your hair is thicker, heavier creams and pomades will serve you better while still giving you a lasting hold.
Just remember to keep in mind what your hair needs and look for it on the product — if your hair is dry, a gel or mousse will not moisturize it, because that’s not their job. This means that you’ll either need a double-duty product that’ll deliver both hold and hydration, or you can simply apply a light cream with a gel.
Still with me? Good, because we’re moving onto the final step!
Finishing
This is where the drying takes place. After gently towelling off with a micro-fibre towel — do not rub your hair — you can either use a diffuser, ideally set to cool/low heat, or simply air dry. Air drying will take a few hours longer so if you’re in a rush, diffusing is definitely the way to go.
Once your hair is fully dry, your styling products will usually leave behind a hard cast. This is where your finishing products come in, since you still want your hair to look touchably soft as opposed to hard uncooked noodles, right? These products include oils, serums, and (if you really like the crunchy look) hairsprays.
When it comes to oils and serums in particular, all you need to do is simply rub them between your palms and smooth them over your hair. Your cast should instantly soften down and leave your curls shiny and voluminous — if you want extra volume, simply tuck your fingers into your hair and fluff your hair out at the base of your scalp.
And there you have it. A gorgeous head of curls!
This is a very simplified curly hair routine, but it should get you started on the right track before you can start branching out and experimenting with new steps. If you really want to delve deep into the curly hair care, I strongly recommend that you look up the Curly Girl Method (which revolutionized curly hair care as we know it)!
Just remember not to be discouraged if you don’t see results right away. Perfecting your curly hair routine and the products you use in it will take time as you slowly familiarize yourself with your natural hair. You’ve spent a significant chunk of your life fighting it and will need to befriend it again! Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your curly hair is certainly a beautiful monument of its own.
What matters most is that you transition from the little girl who hated her curls to the girl who can now look at them in the mirror with an exhilarated smile. To the girl who can finally say,
“I love my curls!”