University can be a challenging time for everyone; new adjustments, new feelings, and, well… new everything. Something I found (and still do find) particularly difficult was finding friends, or even mere acquaintances.
This is something I don’t necessarily feel like is talked about enough. Some people tend to place an extraordinary amount of pressure on themselves to find their ‘ride-or-die’ bestie ASAP. And maybe this pressure isn’t internal, but rather has an external cause.
Parents, peers, and social media are all big, external-pressure triggers to have friends (emphasis on social media!). The media we are exposed to portrays an exciting, fulfilling experience finding friends in university. Scrolling through Insta and taking in all those best friend posts can elicit feelings of loneliness if you don’t have that, and not many people do.
It is an extremely unrealistic expectation to find immediate best friends who are great people and who you get along with. Sometimes there are the lucky few who experience this, and they should cherish it, but it’s not the end of the world for the rest of us.
University is a busy time, and maintaining superficial friendships can be exhausting at times. We are growing up, becoming adults, creating careers; going out regularly can become tiresome, and we need friendships that nourish our energy instead of draining it.
Something that I feel could hold some importance in this conversation is the fact that I do have friends, but I didn’t get them as soon as I stepped onto campus. It took time, and many failed attempts at friendships, which is okay and realistic.
So to close off, if you’re reading this in your first year and maybe you left all your friends behind at home (like me) and you feel kinda hopeless, give yourself some time. Become comfortable in yourself, and you will attract the right people.
