No one tells you that growing up doesn’t just mean changing. It also means outgrowing people you once thought would be in your life forever.
When I moved to a new city, in a new province, I was scared that leaving behind my high school friends would mean I would never be connected with them again. But I learned over time that making new friends, making a new life, also means that it’s okay to leave behind my old life.
Sometimes, I feel almost a sense of guilt for not keeping up with my friends from my hometown, but honestly, we all have evolved in life. They have new friends at different schools, as do I. Those I still feel closest with, I only really catch up with once or twice a year.
I never imagined that would be the case. It’s like, these people I once thought would be my bridesmaids someday, don’t even cross my mind unless I see them post on social media. Does this make me selfish, or does it mean simply outgrowing those I once thought of as sisters?
Even in my third year of university, I have outgrown people I saw as friends when I moved here. It doesn’t mean I am careless; it just means I was no longer willing to fight for those friendships. I always have to remind myself that some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. You are allowed to grow apart from those you once loved and appreciated.
Sometimes, the feeling of comfort with someone doesn’t mean you are aligned with them any longer. Someone may have been so close to you at a point in your life, but as both of you grow up, you may not be at the same point in your lives or maintain the same values. I struggle to stay friends with people I don’t align with morally. And I don’t think that’s an issue.
You’re allowed to appreciate what someone was to you without forcing them to be who you need them to be now. Some people are chapters in your life, not the whole story. And that doesn’t make them any less meaningful.