I am sure that one of my biggest fears was being alone. Even the most toxic places can get comfortable once you settle in. There’s a sense of comfort being defined by someone else. Being in a relationship for almost two years, and one that lasted for a year before that, I had forgotten how to be okay on my own. Believe me when I say, facing your fear of being alone is a bigger accomplishment than being with someone just to cover your lack of self-respect and dignity.
1) Don’t compare your backstage to someone else’s glorious appearance
Even the girl with the perfect curls and amazing clothes has her demons, too. People are good at perfecting their appearance, making their Facebook page look like they are famous. I guarantee everyone has their issues and sometimes they cry about nothing too. So don’t compare how you are spending your night alone to the person that is ‘living it up.’ You never know when the roles might switch.
2) Put your attention somewhere else
Even if it’s not a break up, if you are just feeling lonely, try not to turn to things that prolong your unwanted emotions. Going out is fun, but do it with your close friends, people that make you feel better. Dance the night away, instead of letting people take body shots off of you. Your method of “healing” should be something that’s healthy. When you reach out and give your attention to those that need it, you will feel needed in return.
3) You don’t need that many ‘likes’
Sometimes we turn to Instagram and Facebook pictures for a confidence booster. If you are alone and you start to feel lonely, don’t put your expectations in places that can only provide so little. The same goes to texting guys, just to get a response, just to have someone’s name on your phone. It makes you feel wanted for maybe a total of 15 minutes.
4) Easier to forget a human than a hero
Sometimes I start to feel lonely because I’m lying there remembering all the good times I had with someone. But, you have to accept that the person you made those memories with is no longer that person. I loved someone unconditionally and I couldn’t understand how he could take advantage of it and make me feel embarrassed for having that trait. Then I realized it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the fact that he was incapable of seeing that quality as a blessing. That’s his problem, not mine.
I’ve been alone for almost two months now and I’m confident when I say I’ve never felt more alive. The break up came as a surprise, but once I accepted that I no longer had a spot next to the person I loved for two years, I had to keep walking. It’s not easy when you have your heart broken, when is it ever? But keep in mind you are a stronger person for being alone, instead of being with someone that doesn’t know your worth.