Most people look forward to spending time with their family and loved ones during the holiday season. As someone on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, in an all white conservative Christian family, it can be tough this time of year.
Over the years I feel as if I have masterminded a strategic way to make it through the holiday season without running into controversial issues with the family. Here are three easy ways to achieve this!
Skip the politics
As a gay man, I hear derogatory words thrown around casually in my family’s’ dinner conversation. I always want to tell them that it’s not politically correct to say these words, but it’s not worth it. It is not worth it because as chaotic as it sounds, they have a right to say what they want. Although I am hurt when this happens, and I often feel as if the entire family looks at me when these derogatory words are thrown around, I let it go. I let it go because the easiest way to get through the holiday season is to be confident in who you are and know your political values are entitled. When it comes to politics: skip it.
Be comfortable in your skin
Over the past couple holiday seasons, I’ve concluded that my differences from my family are unique and something to be proud of. Growing up, I always feared the holiday season for so many reasons. My family always commented on my clothes, how my pants are too tight, or asking if I’m wearing makeup, etc. As I got older I realized that my style and makeup is a way that I use to express myself. It doesn’t matter if my family has anything to say about it, because I wear what I want to on my face and my body to artistically express myself.
I am comfortable in my sexuality, whether I feel different from my family or not, and I know that I am good person out in the world. I am comfortable with who I am. I know my value. I understand that not all people have the ability to freely express themselves around their family like I do, and I think about them every holiday. To me, the LGBTQ+ community and other minorities are my family. During the holidays I wish these people the best, and keep them in my mind. I have something to be thankful for, and that is the beautiful diversity in America that makes us special.
Express your feelings
As hard as it is, I have realized that expressing my values and expectations from my family has been very successful. They are allowed, and entitled to think as they please, and so are you. However, it is helpful to express in an adult manner what bothers you and what doesn’t. Having the people around you aware of the things that are offensive to you allows them to know what is expected of them. Life is about respect, the moment that we respect people for their differences is the moment of peace we all want to have during the holiday season.
Being gay should not mean that I should feel uncomfortable around my family, and I won’t let it. Coming to terms with yourself is a grueling process, and it can be long. It is so worth it though. The better your relationship with yourself is, the better your relationship with others around you will be. If you are the minority in your family, remember this holiday season that you are special, unique and one of a kind. Your values and self worth are important. Spread peace and love over the holidays, but most importantly save some peace and love for yourself. This will make the 2K16 holiday season the best one yet.