It happens to all of us: at one point in time we meet people that once were great but now are not. These people either drastically show their true colors or just slowly stop treating you in a way that makes you feel valued or even safe. This person goes from incredibly loving to incredibly toxic at one rate or another. It doesn’t matter how long it takes or how drastic the change is, they’re now suddenly no longer your biggest supporter and now your biggest critic.
There comes a point, though, where you realize that constantly being hurt by someone you care so deeply about is not worth any of the stress it may put upon you to continue hanging around this person. If every moment spent with them makes you uncomfortable or fearful, or if you’re constantly waiting for the next negative comment to come, it’s time to let them go. It’s seriously one of the most painful decisions to have to come to; no one ever wants to end a friendship that once was or still is sometimes so fun and wonderful.
In the long run though, know this: you deserve so much more. That goes for friendships, romantic relationships, even family relationships. You are not obligated to make anyone but yourself happy. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. You deserve to have fulfilling relationships that are not hurtful, stressful, or emotionally draining. It does not matter even if it is a family member who disrespects you and has nothing decent to say, you are not obligated to tolerate that.
One of the hardest lessons you could learn in life is how to cut out toxic people. Sometimes doing this feels as if it would be more painful to end the relationship than it would be to tolerate their negative impact on your life.I promise you though that once you allow yourself to be liberated it will be so worth it in the end. Maybe the process won’t be easy, maybe the process will hurt a little bit and that’s okay. It’s a period of adjustment. You’ll probably remember a lot of the good times with this person, you may even feel sad that this is happening. That’s alright, feeling this way does not invalidate you also feeling that you need to cut this person out of your life. It’s painful, but you could say that it’s just like growing pains.
Once you learn to demand to be treated a certain way it will be easier to hold the people in your life to that standard. You will be able to see more quickly when someone isn’t treating you in a way that makes you happy. You will also be able to cut out hurtful, toxic people in the future. Just like with anything else, it gets easier after a period of learning and growth.
There’s a well known saying that goes something like “the five people closest to you are the people you resemble most”. At the end of the day YOU are the one responsible for the way you’re feeling and for the person that you are. If you look at the people around you and realize that you don’t want to be anything like them, why would you want to be around them at all?
It’s perfectly acceptable, and even healthy, to cut out toxic people in your life, period.