I’m not pretty. I’m not saying this so that a friend on Facebook will read this and message me saying, “Oh my Gosh, shut up, you are SO pretty.” I’m saying this because the society we live in today has brainwashed us into believing that beauty comes from numbers: the number of likes we get on our selfies, the number of guys who would want to date us and the number that stares back at us when we step on the scale. I don’t have the right numbers for the right categories; therefore I am apparently less attractive.
I have struggled with loving myself for as long as I can remember. I remember being in elementary school the first time that I ever hated the way that I looked. I would buy clothes that were two sizes too big to try and hide the fact that I had boobs because none of my friends had them and I was embarrassed. I thought they made me ugly so I hid them any chance I had.
In junior high, I didn’t think I was pretty because all of my friends were beginning to date and I was not. Guys didn’t even look my way. I was also heavier than my friends. While they were all wearing cute bikinis, I was rocking the tankini, feeling self-conscious the entire time. I would stand in my bedroom, in front of my mirror with tears streaming down my face, telling myself every little thing I disliked; let’s just say I was always there for quite some time.
When I got to high school, I began liking myself a little bit more. I no longer stood in front of my mirror and bullied myself, but I did still long for guys to find me pretty. I’m shy, so me initiating conversations doesn’t happen, but each night I would pray for a guy to like me, it never happened, but that’s okay.
Now that I’m in college, I have finally begun to love myself. I realized that being ‘pretty’ isn’t everything. And that one day I will find a guy that loves me for who I am regardless of what any number says. There are so many things I’d rather be called than pretty and they include but are not limited to:
- Kind
- Compassionate
- Strong
- Hard-working
- Determined
- Funny
- Loveable
- Intelligent
- Captivating
- Courteous
- Reliable
These will get me a lot farther in life than just being “pretty.”