Moving to college as a freshman means facing all kinds of new challenges. It’s a season of firsts, one of the biggest being dorm life. From emergency evacuations because someone’s midnight microwave popcorn set off the fire alarm, to having a designated hallway crush, to attempting impossible positions just to shave your legs in communal showers, dorm life is an experience like no other. And of course, there is the roommate situation-whether it’s someone you decided was cool after they slid into your Instagram DMs or someone assigned to you completely in a random twist of fate.
When the dorm becomes your home for the academic year, it can easily make or break your college experience. Either way, there is no avoiding the awkwardness-or the joy-that comes with it. As a freshman at Chico State, I entered dorm life after having my own space. As an only child, I had my own room and even my own bathroom, living in the same house my whole life. So adjusting to dorm living was a major shift, one that ended up teaching me first-hand the most unexpected lessons about growing up.
Knowing When To Walk Away Is Just As Important As Knowing When To Stay
One of the biggest experiences I learned this year was knowing when to walk away and when to advocate for myself.
Roommates are a key part of the dorm life experience. Some people get lucky and form deep bonds, a built-in best friend to take on college with. Others end up sharing a small, often cluttered space with someone they don’t have much in common with, or whose personal definitions don’t agree on cleanliness or quiet. That can turn into a situation that’s less “home sweet home” and more “this is just life.”
Many find that this situation can lead to arguments, power struggles, and increased impatience over time. I found myself spending less and less time in my room, studying literally anywhere else, unwinding in common rooms and printer rooms like it was my living room, and staying out way past my personal curfew just to avoid “going home.”
I always try to see the good in people, but living with someone is a whole different deal. Small habits often get amplified in ways one might not originally expect. Like trying to fall asleep when your roommate is listening to true crime episodes at full volume, then wondering why you have nightmares. Even people’s “pure intentions” can lead to hurt feelings, and a fun personality can lead to an unorganized room. It all stops feeling homey very fast.
This led me to get a roommate reassignment, and many of my friends did too. After a semester, I realized that staying in a situation that clearly is not working out just to ‘stick it out’ isn’t noble-it’s exhausting!
This taught me that knowing when to walk away is just as important as knowing when to stay. It isn’t failure-it’s self-advocacy.
You’re Capable Of More Than You Think-Even On No Sleep
Dorm living taught me that getting a full eight hours of sleep each night is not realistic. A twin XL bed, fluorescent lighting, late-night noise echoing down the halls, sharing a wall with the bathroom, or sharing a wall with loud late-night neighbors throws off one’s nightly sleep. Students stay up late for a variety of reasons, whether that’s cramming for exams the night before, binge-watching your new favorite show, or playing games in the lounge, with no one ever telling you it’s time to go to bed.
At first, it feels hard to function, but soon you learn that you are capable of studying and going to classes throughout even your hardest days and restless nights. Yes, I have gone to Friday lectures wearing pajamas and slippers, but I still went.
I have learned the importance of time management and knowing how to push through, to show up for what matters. My lack of sleep also introduced me to energy drinks, as caffeine became a non-negotiable part of growing up. I learned why adults drink a lot of coffee.
Importance Of Taking Care Of Yourself, Even When Things Aren’t Ideal
Dorm life pushed me out of my comfort zone fast. Not only was I in a whole new school in a totally different city with new living quarters, but I was gifted adult freedom and independence. Though with newfound independence comes greater responsibility, as I learned how to take care of myself in ways that weren’t always easy or convenient.
As I navigated the dining hall, communal bathrooms, and a whole new campus. I learned when to carve out time for what mattered and brave the awkwardness of occasionally eating at the dining hall alone. The whole experience of taking an everything shower in a shower stall deserves its own acknowledgement. Communal bathrooms taught me efficiency, patience, and a level of detachment from out-of-order bathroom stalls and the importance of good hygiene, even when the stalls didn’t seem to offer a strong representation of it.
Though I began to bring into the dining hall a new sense of confidence when it came to occasionally eating alone, and the importance of a balanced diet to feel my best. Into the bathroom routine, I brought with me my favorite lotions, shower products, and, occasionally, the importance of doing a face mask. In academic work, I brought with me snacks, my favorite Spotify study playlist, and the importance of taking breaks between assignments to feel more balanced and focused.
But more than anything, I learned how to make decisions that best supported me, as I started realizing that independence isn’t about everything being ideal; instead, it’s about functioning and taking care of yourself regardless of what the fine print might say.
“Home” Is Something You Build, Not Arrive At
I learned the true definition of home after moving out of the one I had grown up in my whole life. This alone is a huge milestone for many college students. The truth though, was that even then, living somewhere else didn’t mean it was automatically my home; instead, it was half a room with a twin XL bed with built-in drawers, a desk, and a closet. That’s all. So, no, it wasn’t an automatic ‘welcome home’ feeling; instead, I had to make it mine. I learned that decorating the confined space also brought with it a different energy and atmosphere with it, one that felt unique and colorful.
I hung a big dreamcatcher at the foot of my bed and brought in other familiarities from home. Putting up photos of loved ones to keep me company and hanging up posters on the wall of things I liked from postcards of places to favorite music-Dolly Parton, Morgan Wallen, and Noah Kahan became permanent residents. I also made it homey through familiar routines and small comforts, as well as getting to know the people in my hall. Home became something I began to create.
This is a huge coming-of-age moment, as it taught me that there will be so many places that I will live in after this year, whether that’s my apartment next year or all of my other future apartments and houses after that. It’s not the building that makes it home, it’s how we create it and live it out to be.
Growing Up Isn’t a Destination-It’s a Collection of Small Adjustments
If there is anything my year of living in the dorms has taught me, it’s that growing up is not a destination; it’s a collection of small adjustments. The lessons don’t arrive all at once on move-in day or after you unload your first box. Instead, each lesson builds over time-quietly, inconsistently, and often in ways that go unnoticed until you are reflecting on your Freshman year nostalgically, wondering where all the time went.
It taught me that imperfection is completely normal and even encouraged. Dorm life is messy, schedules are packed, and sometimes your entire life feels like it’s spilling out of a laundry hamper awaiting a free Sunday. I also learned the independence that comes with the freedom of growing up, which also means no one is coming to magically fix your living situation or smooth over uncomfortable conversations, not even your favorite RA. Even if ChatGPT can do your assignments for you, real life still requires you to show up, and strangely, that helps build confidence faster than any other situation you’ve been in.
All of these experiences taught me when to walk away from situations that were not serving me and that I am capable of more than I think, the importance of taking care of myself, and the true definition of home.
Looking back, none of these moments felt huge on their own; instead, together they added up. Not just the late nights, last-minute studying, or being able to visit friends’ dorms whenever you wanted, but to memories, growth, and a version of myself that feels a little more capable than when I started as a nervous eighteen-year-old self leaving home for the first time.