From the girl who dreamed of attending UC Davis to the girl who found pride and love in her little college town, my first-year experience at Chico State has changed my perspective on my entire life. In every high school essay written and any conversation with a willing-to-listen person around me during my senior year, I had talked about wanting to attend UC Davis or Berkeley. And while UC Berkeley has incredible history and prestige, it was the rejection from UC Davis that broke my heart. Unsure of what to do with my pile of rejections and “we-don’t-want-you” papers, I panic-applied to Chico State before their applications closed and a few wild months later I’m moving into a new town with new people, new environments, and nothing of what I originally planned in high school.Â
But, as the saying goes, rejection is redirection.
My first few weeks here at Chico may be the most memorable but also the least exciting. I was still somewhat awkward with everyone, including my roommate, and was struggling to fit in with people in my classes. There were a few traumatic experiences that had me questioning myself and my future here, yet I persevered. Everything started to fall into place when two distinct things happened: I became good friends with my roommate and neighbors, and I joined Her Campus.
A personality characteristic to know about me is I tend to be quite awkward with new people. I could like a person and want to be their friend (or something more), but I will genuinely tense up and any thought of how to continue the conversation will be blown away. This has made it difficult for me to truly connect with many people since it takes a long time to open up and break down those invisible barriers. My roommate, Bella, was the first person here I formed a real connection with. We shared many likes and hobbies, and our personalities and personas just clicked. We found solace in each other through similar backgrounds and found it quite easy to communicate. Then, comes barreling in my upstairs neighbors, Haley and Dani.Â
Of course, I was awkward at first with my neighbors, but I tried my utmost hardest to show them how willing I was to be their friend. Both had “clicked” with my roommate, yet for me, the air around us felt somewhat awkward and unknown. But through hard work and keeping up with communication and hanging out, I found a home with these women. I truly knew I was meant to go to Chico State when one night with Haley, something clicked. I had opened up about my experience being in the closet for years and as tears welled up in my eyes, I confessed how she, Bella, and Dani gave me a family away from home. A family where I can be open and honest about who I am and not hide away. It was the first time here at Chico I fully opened up to someone and let myself be completely vulnerable, and it felt amazing.Â
With a solid friend group, life at Chico felt a bit more do-able, yet I still felt out of place. I wanted to put myself out there and connect with people outside of my living quarters. I remember during club rush, I had originally planned on joining another club, yet stumbled upon the Her Campus table by accident and was instantly intrigued. I immediately applied, and after successfully going through all of the steps, I officially became a Her Campus writer!
I have always loved writing, and Her Campus allows me to have a creative outlet while also gaining useful experience in the publishing world. While I usually wrote and created more fictional and mostly romance stories, I’ve learned to love informational and personal pieces through this wonderful organization. So far, I’ve discussed topics ranging from the how-tos of roommate living to vacation spots in California along with vulnerable pieces, such as me opening up about my problems with body image. This group gave me something to look forward to and care about other than my studies, and in the short time I’ve been a member, I have fallen in love with Her Campus and can’t imagine my time at Chico State without it.
Throughout my second semester, I continued to face challenges but also gave myself room to grow. Many major events occurred these past few months: coming out to my mom’s side of the family, going on dates, trips to San Francisco and home, surviving HNRS 103, and navigating my living situation for the upcoming years. It’s been a journey like no other, and I can’t imagine going through it without the people I’ve met in Chico.Â
As I near the end of my first year, I’ve done much self-reflection on both my changes and what has stayed the same. It’s safe to say I’m quite different from the girl I was eight months ago, but I’ve also kept my perseverance and patience. I continue to keep my academics strong while also giving myself space to relax, hang out with friends, be an active member of a club, and just learn how to do life. I’ve learned it’s better not to rush in with romance and that God forbid I get a few points off an assignment, it’s going to be okay. It’s weird to think so many great things have happened as a result of getting my heart crushed from a rejection letter, but again, rejection is redirection, and I am an amazing example of just that.Â
I can’t wait to see what these next three years have in store for me, and make sure to keep an eye out for many more articles to come!