Recently, it feels like the most sought-after thing to be is untethered. Those who are seemingly able to put aside their emotions in matters of politics, media, addiction, and especially relationships are greatly envied for their lack of care and input. I notice increasingly that an uncaring ignorance is sweeping its way through my generation.
This may seem off-topic and random, but I first got the idea for this article after the Oscars. During the red carpet interviews, Rachel Sennott was asked what her pre-Oscar routines and affirmations were. Looking dead-eyed into the camera she answered, “ I look in the mirror and I go ‘Take that beta blocker girl! Swallow it down and lock in’”. The interviewer gleefully responded by exclaiming “ Numb is in!”, shortly repeated afterward by Sennott.
My first thought upon seeing the interviewer’s reaction was just pure concern at first. Someone just admitted they are on heart medication for superficiality purposes in front of you and you laugh in response? It led me to think more deeply about how much we overlook genuine issues in others and ourselves. Do we really feel like it’s the answer to erase our reactions and emotions completely? Is it really that cool to be detached from ourselves for the sake of being “locked in”?
We don’t really ask how others are doing anymore. Much like the short term content we consume on our phones, we treat others issues and problems in the same way. Briefly acknowledging it and moving on, or just accepting it at face value without a second thought. We have lost a sense of community this way, and grown fairly apathetic. And besides being turned numb and fairly apathetic, we’ve also as a generation grown meaner.
You may have seen a rise in insults such as “ chopped shyt” “chuzz”, “paper bag” etc online. Not only that, but an increase in diet culture, wellness culture, and the emphasis being put back on being “ heroin chic” levels of skinny. There are unprecedented levels of scrutiny online and in person, and in this frame of disconnect we find ourselves in, it’s hard not to get caught up in it all. Additionally, now more than ever people find themselves hiding from being perceived as anything at all. There’s a new minimalistic culture on the rise, and it deeply ties into the new need to be seen as cool, nonchalant, and effortlessly perfect.
Unfortunately, this detached way of thinking seeped its way into relationship culture. Hookup culture has been around forever, but the way it’s handled in this generation is honestly my definition of purgatory. Half of the time, when younger people get into any kind of relationship or connection, it has turned into a power play of who can detach themselves from the other first. Ego is at the forefront of this and paired with concepts of ghosting, rosters, and meaningless sex just for the sake of saying you “cracked” someone, it’s less about connection or passion between two people but more about who can be perceived as the best.
All of these things stem additionally from the fears of being embarrassed or being perceived as cringe, or whatever you may call it. This behavior, while self-preserving at times, leads to struggle. I’ve found time and time again that when you prevent yourself from showing your emotions, fears, and personality, you are only hindering yourself from finding that real community you crave, and people who will love you and your quirks wholeheartedly.
Another reason for this growing numbness could be our particularly turbulent political climate. No matter what side you’re on politically, it’s apparent that it’s something horrendous happening every single day. Whether that’s tariffs, growing budget cuts, environmental disaster, or inflation, every time you look at the news now, situations are steadily worse than before. Maybe it’s this constant turmoil that drives us to believe that this is just the way things are, and there’s nothing we can do about it, so there’s no need to care.
We crave connection and passion for things, but we have been put into boxes where we are too afraid to be seen as overly excited, cringe, or stupid for going after it. This comes to the point where we isolate ourselves, and miss out on communities that can be found or created. It’s hard, but one needs to look inward and convince themselves that it’s stupid to try and be perceived as anything else but themselves, and when they let go of the need to be collected, nonchalant, detached or numb,whatever you want to call it, it is when they will find both their realest and constantly changing versions of themselves. Remember, it’s more emotional effort to act like you don’t care about anything, than actually letting yourself feel everything.