Why Having a Significant Other Doesn't (& Shouldn't) Take Away Your Freedom

It’s something that many college-age students fear, and even more are guilty of: Once I get a significant other, I just won’t have time for anything else anymore!

This mindset permeates Western society, and many young people find themselves in serious hot water once they try to make plans - GASP! - without their significant other! While it’s great to include your SO in some of your get-togethers with friends (hello, your friends definitely need to like them too!), sometimes it’s also great to just spend a weekend downtown without your significant other. It’s just good for the soul to spend a little bit of time away from each other.

Related: The Life-Changing Thing I Learned About Love After My Breakup

For one thing, if you find yourself in a relationship where you don’t have time for yourself from the get-go, that should be a red flag. It’s great to want to spend time with your partner, of course it’s okay to spend a majority of your free time with them, if that is what you choose to do. However, if you genuinely end up with no time for yourself, and you’re spending all your time with your significant other, that represents a huge separation issue between you and your SO. You two are and have always been two separate and completely unique individuals. It’s great to want to spend time with each other, however, you need to allot time for your best friends, and even for yourself, as well.

Furthermore, if you’re in a truly healthy and strong relationship, your significant other shouldn’t care whether or not you want to take a weekend off from spending time with them to hang out with your friends. If instead of enthusiastic agreement toward your weekend beach hangout with your girlfriends, you receive anger or the response, “No! You need to spend time with me!”, you should consider whether or not your relationship is truly healthy and flourishing.

I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to spend time with your significant other. To be honest, I spend large majority of my time with my significant other, and I know that is a relatively common feature of all relationships across the nation. However, your relationship should not be a source of frustration for you. If you want to spend time with your best friends at the mall, or simply sleep in and enjoy having the bed all to yourself, then do it. You don’t always have to have your SO by your side. 

Related: Why It's Okay to Be Totally Open About Your Sex Life