As my college chapter comes to a close, I have begun reflecting on my life and my goals and I have realized something: I am always searching for a partner. One of the main stressors in my life has been boyfriends: not having one or the behavior of one I am dating. So as I reflect, I wanted to share why I think this is and how to overcome this phenomenon of the significant other being the pinnacle in a college woman’s life.
Growing up, asking someone who their crush was was top-tier gossip and felt like the most important question one might ask a little girl. Nobody seemed to care as much who the little boy’s crush was. And, when people asked, it never defined the boy. I believe we never really grew out of that phase. Needless to say, it seems like women are born and bred for their lives to revolve around finding a partner, and now that more and more women are working, there is a discrepancy in expectations from society and ourselves.
Being single is not a crime for a young woman; yet, when you are a young single woman everyone is always asking you about where your significant other is. But do not let that pressure push you into a relationship just for the sake of being in one because from my experience / in my opinion, being single and young is ideal. You have no ties, nothing skewing your career decisions and you can go out without having to tell anyone. You are a free agent and can do whatever with whoever you want. If you want to move for work or travel, who’s stopping you? Nobody!
Of course, not all relationships hold each other back, but there is always a level of “what could have been” if someone was not anchoring you down with love. Never let anyone make you feel bad for being single or choosing not to date in your twenties because remember, nobody is making men feel bad and you can put whatever time and focus you would have put on a partner onto something that you are passionate about.
Everyone operates in their own unique way, but personally, I believe we should start normalizing women not having romantic pursuits or letting society make relationships the pinnacle of their being, especially in our 20s. A relationship does not define a woman, she defines herself.