Why Being Single in College is the Effing Best

(This is in no way an attack on people in relationships. This is merely an account of college through the eyes of a single person, and why not having a significant other isn’t the end of the world).

It’s Friday night, and your roommate comes into your room to grab a look in your mirror. “It’s date night with Kevin,” she says. Right. Friday nights are always their date nights. She absentmindedly asks if you have plans with anyone tonight, but you just mumble something unintelligible. You’re relieved when she leaves before she keeps reminding you of your situation: you’re in college, and you’re undoubtedly, consistently single (unless you count Netflix. It’s okay, I won’t judge you).

I know how this feels. I live it everyday. Somehow, I am that friend that’s always single. Except for drunk guys in bars, I’ve never been asked on a date. Four years at a school with 25,000 other people, and the most I’ve ever gotten is, “Hey, wanna go to my date party on Saturday?” Maybe this is enough to call a date for some, but I’m thinking about the real, out-for-dinner-maybe-a-movie-and-goodnight-kiss kind of date. Alas, my time has not yet come.

But while I’m waiting for that magical, legendary moment, I live the single life. And what I’ve realized over the years is this: I love it.

Does it make finding a date for my sorority formal difficult? Sure. Do I love going home for winter break and having to say, “No grandma, I’m not married yet”? Not really my favorite activity. I’m not saying I don’t want a significant other; I merely have come to a point in my life where I have accepted my situation and myself enough to live a wonderful, fun, single life. If you haven’t come to this acceptance yet, maybe these awesome things about being single will help you on your way.

Good old independence

This might be what your mom says to you when you complain about the lack of significant other in your life, but I can assure you that this is probably the most important point. You’re responsible for yourself, so if that means ditching school for a whole day and lying in bed with 10 hours of Netflix and your favorite BJ (our favorite boys Ben and Jerry), nobody’s going to be calling you wondering where you are. You have to do things that make you happy. Last week, I wanted to hike Bishop’s Peak, but no one was around. After realizing I could have a perfectly good time going on a hike with myself, I went. If you want to do something, you can’t let the fact that you’re going to do it alone scare you.

Building strong friendships

I don’t have a dashing, (preferably well-read) and charming boyfriend to take me on dates, so what do I have? I have tons of time to hang out with my awesome friends. Significant others tend to come and go (not always!) but I stand by the mantra that good friends will be with you forever. I am so glad that when I look back on my college years, my memories will be filled with fun times surrounded by my best friends. They are the ones who make me laugh, pick me up when I fall, and give me their shoulder to cry on. You don’t need a significant other to have a person in your life who gives you this support. I know that when I ask “Sunday morning mimosas?” I’m going to get a look that says “Duh!” because that’s what your friends do for you. When you look around, recognize the love your friends have for you and bask in it. Plus, once they’ve taken care of a very drunk you, there’s a bond that is special, irreplaceable, and unbreakable.

You have no commitments

Remember last Saturday night, when you made out with that guy (or girl) at that one party? Yeah, maybe it didn’t work out (you were drunk and they conveniently “forgot” to get your number) but the point is that you’re perfectly in your right to do that. There were no repercussions in the morning. When this happens to me, I remind myself that college is the perfect time in life to experiment and that I can make my own decisions because, in the end, I’m the only one I have to answer to. I don’t have to tell anyone, and I certainly don’t have to think about bringing him home to meet the family. The point is that we’re finding out who we are and what we want. If we have to kiss a couple frogs on the way to finding our prince or princess, so be it.

You have time to cultivate ridiculous interests

Without a significant other, single people tend to have more time on their hands. This gives them time to explore their interests. Some of you, I’m sure, feel like you’re in a relationship with Netflix. This is perfectly ok (as long as you get out and do something else every couple of days). Even obsessing over your favorite book or movie character (I’m a big fan of Rhett Butler, myself) is acceptable. And we definitely can’t forget cats, because we all know that cats are the most precious things on the face of the planet. Maybe you hate all of that but love to knit. Whatever it is that you love, embrace it! These quirks make you who you are, and eventually somebody will come along who appreciates these things about you. For now, just enjoy!

I know that this list is woefully incomplete (there’s a million great reasons to be single, and I only have so much space!) but I hope that my words have given you some comfort in your life as a single person. Just remember that even though you don’t have someone special in your life, there is so much love to be found in the world. So stop looking at your single-ness as a bad thing; embrace it, love it and relish it, for college is too short to be worrying about such things.